Over the past few days the media has been buzzing about a trio of men who claim to have found Bigfoot – or Bigfeet to be specific – the men say that they’ve actually found a small tribe of the creatures. Today, they held a press conference in Palo Alto where they described their encounter with the beast in great detail. And because this may be one of the most important scientific discoveries of all time, we felt obligated to cover it.
The excitement was palpable this morning as dozens of reporters, camera men, and Bigfoot enthusiasts filled the conference room to near maximum capacity. Some particularly devout Bigfoot fans even showed up in costume. Scientists have been searching for the missing link since the infancy of evolutionary theory – today their search was to come to an end, and over a hundred people were there to witness it.
The men took the stage at noon and wasted no time before beginning their captivating tale. While wandering the woods in Northern Georgia, two of them happened upon a dead thing that was neither human nor ape. Pink intestines hung from the hairy corpse’s belly, and, according to one of the men, “it smelled like something dead”.
While the pair spotted a handful of similar creatures wandering silently in the distance, they were unable to catch them. However, they they did manage to capture them on video – the duo is clever enough to always carry a video camera with them whenever they venture into the woods.
The intrepid hunters didn’t know what to do. As they explained to the crowd today, their scenario was akin to finding the largest diamond in existence – who do you call? They decided that the authorities would be clueless, so they proceeded to load the beast into the back of their truck. Then they contacted Tom Biscardi, CEO of Searching for BigFoot Inc (or LLC, depending on where you look).
Biscardi is a man with experience. A few years ago, he found a woman in Stagecoach, Nevada who claimed to have captured similar Bigfoot creatures. Biscardi was convinced, and set about promoting the discovery to the media. Eventually Biscardi learned that the woman was mentally deranged and that the creatures did not exist, but he has learned his lesson – there will be no more mistakes.
Along with Biscardi, the two men put Bigfoot on ice to prevent further decomposition. During the press conference they revealed that there had been some debate regarding the conversion of water to ice (apparently they tried placing Bigfoot in water first), but they sorted things out. Since then, Bigfoot has been kept safely refrigerated in an undisclosed location.
This all happened in June (they aren’t quite certain about the date, but they seemed confident on the month). Since then, the team has been hard at work to prove the validity of their claims. Today, they presented us with nearly irrefutable evidence that the creature does posses some kind of DNA. Unfortunately, the tests are inconclusive (one test revealed that the creature is human, the other that it is mostly possum, which has been attributed to contamination from something Bigfoot ate). Further testing is underway, and an autopsy is scheduled for Monday (hopefully the two months in an ice bath didn’t damage things too badly).
The team has provided the press with a pair of photographs depicting Bigfoot, which can be seen below. The first is of Bigfoot’s tongue and teeth, which are clearly not human, though they do sort of look like dentures. The second shows a creature wandering the woods on two feet, and strongly resembles Chewbacca. Unfortunately, both photos are quite blurry, so further analysis is difficult. Clear video footage will be released in the near future.
There were, of course, skeptics: “Why didn’t the hunters contact the authorities?”, “Why didn’t you give us more evidence today?”, “How did you manage to find a creature that has eluded modern technology and civilization for centuries?” they asked.
It wasn’t until I heard Biscardi’s response that I became a believer: “When was the last time you found a bear skeleton in the woods?”
More on the story as it develops. See John McCrea for more.
Wow! I want to believe I really do they need to display the body to all of the world and have a University conduct a in-depth study of it.
http://www.FliteRecord.com
We all want to believe, but isn’t that why shit like this keeps popping up?
I don’t think any accredited University would even let these guys in the door.
I notice a comment by Eric Williams. Well, I’m another Eric Williams and I agree with the first. I do not doubt the existence of such creatures (with a reason all my own) but I am healthily skeptical of such events as these. I hope this is real and will get fairly studied, but, we’ll see…..Clever con men han really interfere with matters….
were did you find bigfoot is all this ture i hope he was not bloddy was he in the woods er in a cave
{seesmic_video:{”url_thumbnail”:{”value”:”http://t.seesmic.com/thumbnail/KYmi3Z9p8y_th1.jpg”}”title”:{”value”:” ”}”videoUri”:{”value”:”http://www.seesmic.com/video/E2hPULoC5V”}}}
is that why docstok’s girls have hairy armpits?
I’ve heard rumors that these and other ‘monster’ discoveries are promos for an upcoming movie.
EngineYard is down all day and this is what you’re reporting? Way to be on the pulse of the startup universe.
wowowowowo
Is bigfoot going to be on the panel for TechCrunch 50?
+rep hahaha
Only if Aussie shampoo sponsors him.
Bigfoot has a right purty mouth
Since when is TechCrunch reporting totally B.S. tabloid science? This is not peer reviewed or anything, what makes this more special than an U.F.O. announcement by a cranky Air Force pilot? or any other paranormal stuff for that matter?
Too much Indiana Jones?
Pathetic to see TechCrunch doing this POS.
The clock is ticking on the inevitable class action lawsuit of the ‘Bigfoot tribe’ vs George Lucas for the Chewbacca IP rights/infringment. Billions are at stake potentially!
I bet 50% of the attendees were lawyers trying to sign them up for the suit.
I have never believed in aliens, sea monsters, etc, etc, but I’ve always believed in the possibility of Big Foot. I really hope these guys are telling the truth, but have to be somewhat sceptical.
oh, let’s be clear. These guys are completely full of shit. I just can’t wait to see what it is that they are really selling.
that’s not bigfoot, that’s a himalayan ballchin.
i wonder how it wound up in georgia?
even dipshit rednecks can afford and operate a digital camera these days. i think there should be laws against hoaxing, like for instance having to reimburse any tax dollars lost due to police or other agency’s lost time.
Why do they have to be full of shit? Why don’t you let the facts stand where they are. I watched the entire press conference on CNN Live video. The press conference has already been misreported everywhere online and being labeled a hoax.
Biscardi said they would bring in scientists to do the autopsy and further examination. Instead of calling bullshit why don’t you contact the scientist at Stanford who he named during the press conference?
You’re right there! If you’re a real journalist you would follow up on the information you were given and get to the definitive bottom of the story. If it’s all fake then prove it with details you can verify. He gave enough info in that conference to be falsified. See if the people he named are scientists at the respective universities and get their take.
There is so much lazy reporting in this country, no wonder we’re so misinformed.
i suppose if we were a bigfoot blog I may do some of those things. But bullshit is bullshit, and this is bullshit.
I created a video commentary on this and actually started to go down to the conference, but I did not. The information they claim to have is already on their website. But the implication was that the body was traveling with them.
See:
http://www.yout...ZrscT_–LY
way to go for covering bullshit by spending the time to blog about it. u’re full of shit.
They’re selling whatever the suckers are buying. So far they’ve got a few million dollars worth of airtime. If they can convert any of it at all to cash they can buy new copper tubing for their still and go back to the woods.
What in the hell are these guys doing in Palo Alto, why didn’t they just go on the local evening news? Kind of an expensive hotel room for some dumb rednecks.
Get your Bigfoot Cartilage(TM) at GNC today…guaranteed to boost lean muscle mass gain with no negative side effects!
(These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA)
mike’s right. these guys are full of shit. anyone who believes them need medication
ok i think there telling the truth. there could easly be animals that we havent discoverd out there. i mean sooner or later they will give out the body then we will no for sure. some of u guys are dumb shits. like gilltots he thinks it is a monkey. hey fuck shit how is that possible were did it come from.
There is a greater chance according to the laws of probability that Aliens exist then Big Foot!
I love you ET and Harry <3
Aliens do exist. How can you be so narrow minded to think we have it all figured out and that all creatures have been discovered. Remember for hundreds of years the worlds greatest minds, thought it was flat.
Even if it’s a hoax, Don’t be so arrogant to think it can’t be true !
And if it is a hoax, I agree they should go to jail.
Aliens huh? Again, show me facts not some he said / she said bullshit.
Oh Please………..
What’s up with the stories on techcrunch these days? I know we’re in a downturn, but geez!
This may be the last great discovery of “old science”. Like old Europe, old science will probably fade away as new science does it better and more cost efficiently.
In “new science”, our intrepid heroes would have whipped out their iPhone, uploaded geotagged photos to flickr, embedded an Animoto of those photos in their blog (sound track from TokioHotel), and then twittered the whole thing. Leading Bigfoot researchers at prominent universities would have responded in minutes, as would Hollywood scouts looking to secure the movie rights. They could have had the whole thing wrapped up in a day and still had time to look for Yetis in the evening!
this is going to be ending up similar to the montauk monster , and agree with michael. lets wait to see what there selling, probably another movie. Just sad they are wasting these reporters time
An old but proven way to attract attention !
Yes.. they’ve had this thing for 2 months and all they reveal are a few extremely blurry photos and inconclusive DNA. Way to go.
They were wearing hats during the press conference with their bigfoot website printed on them. I bet that by Monday you have to join their pay web site to see the autopsy as well as the video that wasn’t revealed today for some reason.
Same thing happened a couple years ago.
Northern Georgia? Is this yet another atrocity of the Russian military there, killing endangered species and probably driving large trucks through previously prisitine old-growth forests? (Or am I confusing Indiana Jones?)
I don’t buy it.
just like that stupid montak monster recent story…full of disrepency bs
It is quite strange that this is coming out before the guy’s documentary about bigfoot, which the link is provided in one of the pictures.
Well, the Montauk Monster was obviously a bloated, partly decayed dog carcass, but we’ll have to wait and see with ol’ BF….
I’m sick of these viral ‘ads’ filling up my blog reader!
Hopefully people start reacting to them by boycotting what they are pitching. It obviously didn’t help much for the ‘office blowup’ video/Wanted movie.
Looks like they are selling trips to go hunt bigfoot with them. That was fast.
Let’s face it folks. We all want this to be true but we know it is not.
Actually, the only thing we humans know for sure is that we don’t know anything for sure. In the late 1800s and into the early 1900s, the gorilla was considered just as fake and absurd as bigfoot – as was the giant squid. We know now that both are real. It’ll be interesting to see how this turns out. If it is a hoax, it’s a pretty good one. We might as well enjoy the ride.
If you are going to quote Socrates, at least give him the credit;) Changing it around does not make it your own.
“One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.” Socrates
It’s a trap, Nessie! Don’t let this “discovery” trick you into revealing yourself as the only true modern-day, non-fictional mythological creature!
Pictures of a dead Chewbacca are as traumatizing to me as when I found out there is no Santa Clause.
“Chewy get us out of here!”
you don’t become a believer tks to rhetorical questions damnt it… the pics themselves say it’s a pathetical fake!
Fake…seriously come on people. Even if it is Big Foot, what the hell does that tell you? Nothing, it’ll become another conspiracy theory.
Come on. Northern Georgia? Big Foot was a hairy hillbilly who got lost hiking. He met his demise when he choked on his possum dinner.
so, human or possum – is it THAT hard to tell ?!
As listed on the press release on the guys’ site, their advertising and PR firm looks a little… uh… hmmm – fishy — http://www.barrows.com/. Apparently Mr Barrows does some hip hop recording in his spare time: http://www.barr...om/BigBucks.mov – oh it’s worth the click. Their agency guy also developed the ahead-of-its-time “cemetery of lies” video gravestone: http://www.barr.../invention.html. I’m just sayin…
–live from North Georgia, jeneane
Something tells me this is a silicon valley viral hype bullshit. Think about it, techcrunch is covering it, all the blogs are talking about it, they have a website that they keep promoting, it’s a scam and they’re now using this big foot story to fuel the fire. Oh, and they go to PALO ALTO to present the findings when they FOUND the damn thing in Georgia, wtf?
I knew it i was sure hes gonna pop up some day
Deep down I really believe this is nothing more than a marketing effort for a movie or some kind of social experiment. you can quote me on this!
Oh boy… I cant believe people still put this much attention to one prank that’s soooooooooo easy to fake..
yeah, and chupacabra’s real too.
this is a hiz-oax: http://www.bfro.net/hoax.asp.
good point about the bear skeleton, though.
I say they claim it as a human and send the guys that found it to jail for murder. If it is really anything, then you know those two rednecks shot the damn thing.
I seriously considered TechCrunch for a much smarter and lucid audience. This is so lame and Kincaid should be fed to the beast or possum or whatever should they ever find it. Seriously lame.
Maybe Bigfoot will teach the TechCrunch guys how to better organize an event.
I just checked and my iPhone is still reporting August, not April. No offense to the whole TC world, but you guys should really be embarrassed for floated this. I expect this from The Onion, not TechCrunch. What’s going on, really? There are lots of tech companies that could use your writing attention. Sure, technology stuff isn’t as sexy as, well, sex, politics and ridiculous stories like this – but that’s your mission, isn’t it? Were you guys absorbed by Gawker?
I think that the IPhone is a hoax perpetuated by Apple on all of the morons foolish enough to disinvest themselves of a couple of hundred bucks. At least this Bigfoot folly is entertaining and not too be taken too seriously. I watched the YouTube videos these guys made and they are hilarious. This is the best thing to come out of the North Georgia mountains since the movie “Deliverance”.
These guys may seem strange and moronic, but believe it or not they are pretty common throughout the south. At least they provide better entertainment than that Californian Democrat Barrows. That dude is ghetto! Just listen to his raps.
Sayonara from Savannah!
http://store.sh...forbigfoot.com/
and we’re done.
Oh, c’mon. Everyone of us would *like* to believe, but the “proofs” are so weak …
Bigfoot has been in the cooler since June…and none of these jokers could round up a decent digital camera to take a picture of the teeth?
These hicks all go to the same stupid school where they take “fooling the public 101″ from the same moron.
Good thing that freezer wasn’t at the Whistle Stop Cafe…More ribs anyone?
cute hoax
i’d love to believe
This is a big gimmick to sell a website and then to sell a video of the alleged autopsy. Mark my words, you’re never going to see a legitimate scientific study of this hoax. Already you can tell it’s a setup because the only “scientists” they are allowing access to it are already “bigfoot specialists”. I will also predict, that the body will be kept in an “undisclosed” location long enough to film the hoax autopsy, then, mysteriously it will disappear and nobody will know who had it last, or someone will steal it and gosh darn, they just don’t have it anymore, “but shucks, you can just buy the video and see the proof when it comes out on DVD”.
hoax, hoax, hoax, hoax and more hoax
New video just revealed at http://www.peoplescourtraw.com website. It’s real!!! Holy shit!!! It’s real!
The pictures look like a gorilla. I smell a fake.
I can totally see George W Bush getting all hyped up on this story and making a presidential speech about it, connecting terrorists and the axis-of-evil.
Even a dead, decaying bigfoot is smarter than Bush.
Totally Agree
best comment yet!
How about the people that elected Bush twice?
All these morons manage to accomplish is to kill the fantasy and possibility of monsters. I personally love the ‘thought’ of monsters in the wild, however I am an unfortunate victim of reality. I prefer my monsters to be on the screen where the veil of entertainment allows them to live on forever…
These guys are killing my imagination and wasting valuable energy where they could be sucking back moonshine on the porch!
HAHAHAHAHA! What a lame hoax! The first picture appears to be the mouth of a either a donkey or horse with the upper lip pulled back. The second picture is straight out of Harry and the Hendersons. What fool would believe this?
Why did they take a close up picture of the teeth and tongue instead of a full head shot?
They can’t recall the day? They waited two months? Flew to Palo Alto for the reveal? They couldn’t decide whether to preserve it in water or ice? These rednecks have surely gone deer hunting before this!
Inconclusive DNA? Contaminated by the contents of it’s stomach? Possum or human? Why didn’t they simply take a few dozens strands of hair to the lab insted of the contents of it’s stomach?
What about other facts that would have baited the audience? Height? Weight? Gender? Astrological sign? Was one of the two men named Mark Fuhrman?
Is today Canadian version of April Fools Day?
hey lame hoax alert that first pic is no way a horse or a donkeys mouth. have u ever even seen a horse or donkey. oh and by the way what makes them a redneck just the fact that they found a body of a bigfoot.
as my one and only source of news i hope that techcrunch keeps on top of this story!!!
If they have found it, why no researchers (authorities) have been informed, and why are they so reluctant on revealing that they found it? After validations by researchers they are still going to be credited anyways.
I am skeptical.
It’s a beef jerky commercial.
John Titor just called in to say this latest ‘Bigfoot’ is a fake. Just so you know.