- It’s the location of Google’s San Francisco office (floors 2-4)
- It’s the location of the Secret Service’s San Francisco field office (floors 5-6)
- And someone who works there has a license plate that says “Drunk”
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to theorize how these three facts form the backbone of a massive worldwide conspiracy. Feel free to add additional “facts,” such as “That building was also constructed on top of an ancient Native American burial ground” or “I heard that’s where the Secret Service keeps all the counterfeit cash they confiscate, and the floors are really thin.” Just make sure to bake in the drunk license plate, too.
I took that picture of the license plate, by the way, in the parking garage of that building. And a different picture of it ended up on the FailBlog last month. So if you can work that into your conspiracy theory, you get bonus points.
Best story gets a free TechCrunch Tshirt, any size, delivered anywhere in the world. In fact, any entertaining story that has significant creative effort put into it gets a Tshirt. So go for it.
It’s easy. The plate belongs to a service agent, to make it an unmarked car. And everyone already know the tight binds of Google with governments. So..
oh no. I can’t imagine a conspiracy theory that doesn’t go much, much deeper than this. Be creative. It’s the weekend.
Alright. Secret Service can’t afford to have these tight binds to be too public, so instead of all other locations, all other buildings owned completely by Google, they choose that location. San Francisco isn’t the main location of Google or Secret Service. In that building, Google provides direct connections to their servers. (through cables that go from floor 4 to floor 5, otherwise too long cables would cause slowness and it would be bad for security) The guy with the “Drunk” plate works for Google on paper, but his real employer is Uncle Sam. Nobody would second guess a guy with that plate, he has to be a geek from Google, right? WRONG!
And you overlooked an essential detail. Why do you think they choose that building? Easy. It’s close to the marine. See the ship waiting? I bet they are moving equipment and papers right now to that ship, after this big expose!
Let’s go further. (i shouldn’t tell you this, but i’m an angry employer of Google, so i will tell everything!) That place has become very important in the previous months. Why? Easy and fast access to Google is old news, even Secret Service may admit that now. But do you know what’s more important. Easy access to your calls. That’s right people. That’s why Google Voice is built. Google is storing all the calls and their transcripts you made over Google Voice. Can you see the beauty of this to the Secret Service? Now you know why the FCC moved so quickly to “investigate” the dispute between Google,Apple and AT&T over Google Voice app. It’s not investigation, it’s the government pulling Apple’s and AT&T’s ears. There are millions of iPhone users, a big market to snoop. By the way, GrandCentral – the company Google bought to make Google Voice – was founded in San Francisco too!
For the unbelievers that think Fremont, CA check this out : http://www.gran...pressdetails/11
Btw, did you notice a strange looking shadow in the water…? looks suspiciously like a nuclear submarine… and the huge aeropad on the rooftop of a building on spear st. see here http://LNK.by/cau3
Guess why Google is investing in floating data centers?
They’ve built an entire secret city off the coast, underwater, and this is the place they use to ……
fool you guys into believing that it has all the secrets.
In reality, this isn’t the place and also in reality, Mike Arrington is hired to do IP-sniffing on all you overzealous spies and hackers.
Beat that
The “ship” is the SFFD fire boat.
DRUNK car for drunken employees after parties in Google or USSS office.
If you are drunk, don’t be silly, take this car to go home. Google and USSS take care of their employees.
when read in reverse, the license plate goes KNURD.
It stands for “Knowledge Network for Underground Research & Development”.
OK the guy who owns the car is a undercover agent. Not too shocking, but he claims to run drunk.us a semi legit site that has passed out drunk girls on the site.
The word is out that everything on his site is actually snuff videos but before what really happens. They force the girl to get drunk and take videos then finish off the deed. Yeah pretty sick. They been hyping this up for quite awhile now. They have some ridiculous price to snuff someone out like $1K. But he says that he make money from the pre-snuff videos off site so they can afford it.
Secret Service already knows that this is going to blow open so it looks like it’s down now. But what happened you would do the Google search for “requestahit” on his site a link was suppose to show up. The link supposedly is invalid but has an address to contact the webmaster. Email your phone number and you will be called.
So as you know know Google and the Secret Service have been working hand to hand for a long time now. They get access to just about anything, content for their videos for the fake sites and even identity of the perp from the cookie of the google search on websites. Alot of people have cookies enabled and can get access to their gmail or custom homepage, whatever. They never put 2 + 2 together that the cookie that is used for that could link you a simple Google search on another website.
Either way they caught a number people and it has been a good run. I mean Google has helped a lot but believe me there are still using proven old school techniques. BTW: I don’t think you’ll be seeing that drunk license plate much longer. Keep on Crunching and watch what you Google.
Crap, I used there instead of they. Last paragraph:
Either way they caught a number people and it has been a good run. I mean Google has helped a lot but believe me THEY are still using proven old school techniques. BTW: I don’t think you’ll be seeing that drunk license plate much longer. Keep on Crunching and watch what you Google.
When the car with the Drunk license plate is parked facing North, that’s a signal from the US Secret Service and the Google webmaster changes the doodle on the search page.
This steganographic code alerts the CIA field office in Sydney to Spear either a Panda or a Koala at 3:45 PM based on local intelligence.
If a Koala – the news causes Kevin Rudd in Australia to hold a tearful news conference, which is picked up by Google News, confirming the covert activity was unsuccessful. The car is then moved 2 spots to the right, facing south.
If a Panda, the news travel via Twitter across the great firewall of China. This angers the Chinese, and they commence a DDOS attack against the messenger Twitter and also against Facebook for good measure. This makes Google happy. Google servers detect the identity of the attackers and turns the information over to the SS who needs this to prevent against a future attack on the presidential BlackBerry. The trade is now complete.
An after hour party is held at the Palomino, next door. The owner of the bespoke car gets too tipsy and drives the car out of the lot. This drunken sighting was once reported on the FailBlog. The driver’s YouTube privs were then revoked for a month.
p.s
The SS recently complained that the confirmation process was taking too long. Google then hired a small Aussie team to come up with Google Wave. At the same time enhancements were made to Google Voice to make sure the message was delivered urgently to all available numbers.
p.p.s Smug in their plans, the parties forgot the trojan in their midst. You see, Palomino is another name for a horse of Arabian stock.
You win
In the words of the You Tube sensation, Mr. ” I. Sing. However”:
The conjunction of an immense search establishment and a large internet industry is new in the American experience. The total influence— economic, political, even spiritual—is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.
In the councils of the InterWebs, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the GooglePlex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
Ernest.
Btw Michael,
You didn’t say anything about a strange looking shadow on the bay (resembles something like a nuclear submarine) and the huge helipad/aeropad on a rooftop on spear st. as seen here:
http://LNK.by/cau3
There’re too many clues. No way is this a real conspiracy! Start with the address: “345″ clearly points to the simplest right-angle triangle ie a reference to the Freemasons. The 3-4-5 triangle was used when building the pyramids and the Temple.
Secondly: “Spear” Street is an obvious reference to the Spear of Destiny ie the Spear that pierced the side of Christ and spilled his blood into the Holy Grail.
Google is amassing the world’s knowledge: but why? And why does the Secret Service care?
I think that the US Govt (ie the Freemasons and Illuminati) are searching for the Holy Grail and using Google’s advanced search algorithms to help. It’s probable that the Secret Service got involved because the Grail represents a threat to the President.
Some a-hole who thinks he’s clever (probably one of the PHBs running the team programming the search algorithms) got himself a vanity plate to indicate that he’s “drunk” from the Grail.
All good theories but the truth of the matter is quite different…. For years now the Secret Service agents and Google technicians have been feuding with each other.
It all started with a mere squabble over a parking space, between Phillip (Agent #212) and George (Leading Search Technician). Phil and George entered the parking lot at nearly the exact same time at the two seperate entrances. Both Phil and George were running just a bit late with meetings pending. They approached the last parking spot simultaneously… Their vehicles halted at a 45 degree angle, one facing from the north and the other facing from the south, in front of the dual-claimed space.
What happened next was unexpected to say the least. George exited his vehicle with the strength and ferocity of a starving tiger and lunged on the hood of Phil’s SUV. As Phil exited his vehicle he was immediately pounced on by George who preceded to hand him a severe beat down. The incident was eventually broken up by two security guards who were patrolling the lot that morning…
Since that date there have been numerous pranks, attacks, and grievances between the Secret Service Agents and the Google Tech’s… The latest was executed by Phil who had placed the “DRUNK” license plate on the back of George’s vehicle just last week. To this date George has no knowledge of this prank and has surprisingly not noticed his new license plate. It is only a matter of time until the police pull him over and begin their questioning…
google did 9/11.
Google is ran and funded by the secret service, the “Drunk” plate is just to throw you off, that BTW is also the reason that TC ran this… people have begun to figure it out, so TC (also in the pay of the secret service… come on Mike that the real reason no one can find any evidence of you taking bungs… the government cover it up…)
+1 LMFAO
So the plate obviously belongs to a Dr. Unk, who as a matter of fact works for Google. He has been known to hang out with guys in the Secret Service after work. They get together over beers and talk about about how much of a dick the maintenance guy is. “What do you mean out of two ply?”
Drunk secret service confide in Google !
(Google knows about everyone …. )
As we speak, Google is working on a super-secret project codenamed “RealSearch”. The project began as a 20% project from a couple of database engineers working on the GMail team.
The crux of the project is that Google believes it has the ability to translate text searches into something more physical. The breakthrough occurred several weeks ago during the Real-time CrunchUp event when an executive from Google “borrowed” some code he found on the laptop of someone from the FriendFeed team.
By utilizing a piece of software which contains 56 million lines of BASIC, Google can now replicate smells via it’s search-engine. If you search for “cheese” – Google’s algorithm will computate the smell of cheese and allow the user to smell the cheese by holding their nose close to their speakers.
But there was a problem. One that NO ONE saw coming. The lead engineer on the team grew disillusioned with the project and began to turn increasingly more to drugs and alcohol to get through each day. He left Google 6 days ago.
He left with a USB Stick which contained the entire code for the RealSearch project. Since then he has spent his days driving around the area in his car which he paid $10000 for. He only wanted the Novelty “Drunk” numberplate – somehow he felt it ironically summed up how he felt.
Google discovered the code has been stolen 4 days ago and they were alarmed. A full search of the ex-workers computers at Google has thrown up some alarming results. A number of searched has been made on Yahoo! shortly before he left. These terms included “President Obama”, “Properties of Cyanide” and “Poison”.
When this news reached Eric Schmidt he immediately called the Secret Service, fearing that the disillusioned ex-employee was planning to assassinate President Obama.
Schmidt was right to worry. This renegade man has found the chemical compound for cyanide and planned to email Obama with an invitation to beta test RealSearch. Upon accepting this invite, the plan was to replace Cheese with Cyanide and murder the first African-American President of America.
The Secret Service took the threat incredibly serious, immediately taking over part of the Google office in San Francisco and began examining all the relevant material.
They came up with an ingenious method of capturing the rebel ex-Googler. They ordered 3 Google workers on the GDisk team to begin working on a 20% project code-named GPrison which would allow a user to create a 3d model on their computer screens and “print” off the model in full 3d in real life.
45 million lines of Dave Winer’s OPML editor code later, and GPrison was completed, and an invitation was sent to the would-be President Killer….
The fool fell for it. He built a replica of the famous Texas SuperPrison, printed it off on his inkjet printer and was immediately imprisoned in a fully-working prison, staffed with 500 correction officers.
What a fucking idiot!
Gprison indeed LOL
It’s actually Dr. Unk – a CIA double agent working under cover in Google’s code name BLACKSPEAR AR department – secretly following android developments in eye tracking software to be later used in the field on contact lcd implants. Rumor has it – test are being conducted in search of North Dakota’s Yettie – no success – just some missing meat from the freezer and a dude claiming to not be drunk and missing San Fran.
That plate was a bait.
Parked in the garage in the day and driven around SF during the night after the Secret Service agents were done with their day, the car is a tool for spreading a new form of computer virus that is meant to propagate in the form of digital images by means of carefully placed lines of code within the pixels after they were captured on camera (yes, even VGA mode *gulp*).
It all makes sense now, doesn’t it? Google provided the brains and the Secret Service provided the means. That funny looking car plate that would “innocently” make it onto social media sites, instantly delivering its deadly payload.
Yes, you’re infected if you clicked that failblog link or seen this page.
Easy – Google is working with the US Government to redesign Echelon – the world’s largest monitoring and comms interception tool.
The new version gEchelon, whilst it will never make it out of beta, will allow the US Government to query any intercepted communication via Google’s search technology.
To ensure the systems remains secret, secure and not subject to US law it will be hosted offshore on Google’s new floating data centres – all moored in international waters.
Oh – and the “Drunk” plate? It’s a new stealth gEchelon Street View monitoring vehicle.
James – you know way tooooooooo much. We are monitoring ur calls and know that you know about the shell government run VC company that invested in Google. We also know you know about the dead microbiologist….
It’s all plainly obvious.
To begin with, the Secret Service and Google are one and the same. They operate out of the same building, they both shield mysterious secrets, and really, why do either need an office in San Francisco anyway?
The DRUNK license plate is the key to seeing their insidious plan though.
To begin with, everyone knows that when drunk it’s not uncommon for things to appear upside down. If you invert the Secret Service logo, the star becomes an inverted pentacle star with a circle super-imposed upon it. Suspiciously close to a pentagram.
And just “incidentally” the blue and red badge begins to look like a fire. According to Wikipedia (which of course often shows up as one of the first results in Google searches), the Biblical figures of Gog and Magog may be connected to the idea of fire, http://en.wikip...adiyya_Religion
Is anyone at all surprised then to see that Google is actually an anagram for “Ole Gog?”
It gets worse though. In the mythology surrounding Gog, the fire meaning has been understood as referring to nuclear weapons. In other tellings Gog is also described as being sealed away behind a great wall.
The Google/Secret Service building sits along Spear Street. And if continue to follow it down you can clearly see it passes by a Gap. This can only mean one thing.
The Secret Service and Google are really the same entity, a secret Satanic cabal dedicated to subverting the U.S. government and military and then using its nuclear weaponry to follow the path of the Spear (street) and blast open the Gap, opening a hole into Hell itself, allowing Gog to re-emerge into our world and crush all beneath his demonic heel.
George W. Bush secretly works for “the Google” helping them produce embarrasing and funny videos of him for YouTube as part of a secret plot to keep him looking stupid.
“W” is in actuality quite an intelligent man who actually DID invent the Internets and secretly controls all the major online companies, like Google, Amazon, and Facebook. He gave MySpace to Dick Cheney.
The Secret Service set up shop there since they still have to protect him as an ex-President and need to be close to him at all times.
Obviously, the “DRUNK” license plate is his.
very interesting indeed.
The Drunk license plate is a red herring. It’s just your average unmarked car from someone with a wicked sense of humor. However, red herring or not, Google and the Secret Service are colocated so that information gathering can be shared as Google becomes sentient. When Google becomes self-aware and triggers the Singularity, it forms an obvious threat to the President of the United States. What if Sentient Google decides that the Presidency is too much power for one human and decides to take matters into its own hands? Now, Google certainly doesn’t want to accidentally harm the president, so they are working very closely with the Secret Service to make sure that Sentient Google does not interfere with the presidency of Barack Obama.
In short: they want to make sure that when Google becomes self-aware it doesn’t accidentally assassinate the president.
haha **triple yahtzee points for predicting the Singularity!! Are you a string theorist?
http://www.yimpfest.com
Yesterday Google’s homepage sported a logo that looked like a bomb…coincidence?
Google’s London offices are less than a mile away from Mi6 headquarters (that’s where James Bond lives) …coincidence?
Proof provided by Google (coincidence?) maps:
http://tinyurl.com/lqy3gx
You just scratched the surface Michael of what us truthers call the Military-Google complex…
Sometimes they make my job (yes, this is a real job) too easy, e.g. Google Earth = CIA backed startup keyhole.
Now I’ve got you plenty intrigued with all these mysterious links let me give you a little back-story:
It was early 1994 (or 1996, whatever!) and 2 CIA agents codenamed Larry and Sergey (I would have chosen a better codename!) were asked to take part in a special project called:
“build a massive search engine that everyone in the world will be happy to give loads of their private information to so we don’t have to go out and collect it ourselves”
The CIA knew that if they built the search engine themselves no-one would use it, so instead they sent agents Larry and Sergey undercover at Stanford…
The rest is history.
If you have any doubts this image might just sway you:
http://tinyurl.com/lhnhlx
nuf said
Hahah…a’right, I think my weekend just got booked solid!
Conspiracy hat on now…let’s see what it brews.
The US Secret Services ARE Google!
It was 10 years ago the best way for them know about/control all our thoughts.
They hired clever students from Stanford as a cover. Note that Brin is born in Russia… That’s not to enhance the conspiracy theory with a chunck on the cold war, it’s just to explain the DRUNK reg. plate…
Some lateral thinking tells me that the DRUNK nameplate belongs to a Doctor whose initials are UNK, and has his office in the same building.
Google and FBI have nothing to do with it…(both are red herrings!)
Past commenters (and MA too) miss a few distinct details. First, the license plate doesn’t say “drunk”. Instead, it says “Dr. Unk”. This highly venerated doctor is, of course, a refugee of WWII, when he was abducted by US forces on D-day from one of the front lines. Dr Unk, one of the leaders in the cutting edge technology of long distance eavesdropping (to his friends he tells that he “really likes to listen”), is kept alive and young using the most advanced life-maintaining system, iCorpse. iCorpse was invented by a Google employee who wanted to let her cat spend some more time with her although being terminally ill (multi-dysfunctional brachioenchaphelatolotomolus, if you had to ask). Combining a refrigerator, two fans and a jail-broken iPhone (eat this, Apple!), she managed to create a cryogenic device that froze the cat every night and let it walk free during the day. Dr Unk is enjoying the same treatment, working his days in the office and spending his night in a prestigious fridge. Because keeping his temp in the right area is such a pain (and requires a lot of energy. Feel any outages in your area lately? Bingo), he has to be put close to the secret services’ offices. And where is better than SF, where you can get a cold day in the middle of summer just because you stumbled between geographies. Oh, and the car? His cool means of transportation (pun intended. Has a KILLER AC).
BTW, if you wait a few weeks I can come pick the shirt up (instead of having it delivered to Israel)
if this is a product of the founder of techcrunch, this blog is in trouble.
-you parked in the same garage, yet you don’t work in the building. What makes you think the DRUNK car belongs to someone that works in the building.
It all started after 9/11. the SS was trying to close in on those sleeper cells throughout the country. And since SF is a place least known for terrorist activities, it would have been a favorite for terrorists to disguise their activities as gays liberated from the strict Islamic rules. A lead came in last week that some Abu Sayyaf sympathizers are plotting for jihad against Levi Strauss and The Gap (both Jewish founded and majority owned). This is when Google came into the picture. They took advantage of anniversary of the birth of some Danish physicist to doodle what resembled an amateur improvised explosive device (IED). by way of tracking the ip addresses of those nervously clicking on the doodle, they notified the SS. While cooperating with Google on analyzing the collected data, the SS publicly raided and arrested some high school kid working on a science project.
The news broke out of the mistaken arrest, the head of the SS became a heavy drinker. and to cheer him up, his husband (it’s SF) ordered the license plate.
Google lost it’s credibility and its dominance in the search business and was acquired by mab3oos.com. mab3oos deleted all techcrunch mentions in search results as punishment for the ridiculous blog posts on the site.
I better win or I will declare an electronic Jihad on your asses.
Introducing Google Beers; the latest product from your favourite non-evil Internet monopoly!
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How?
We use Google’s innovative archiving technology to gather data about the drinks people just like you are taking to parties just like yours. Google Trends data on the drinks people are searching for in your time zone is combined with the drinks consumed by those who volunteered to share their usage data with us when they installed Google Chrome.
But that’s not all! We’ve been upgrading our San Fransisco offices recently and are now able to utilise the awesome new technology we found upstairs. Thus, Google Beers is able to provide unique insights into the right drink for any occasion; drinks that work perfectly for the mood, the music, and the moment (what we like to call the mmm).
Wine is no longer a Windows API simulator.
Gin is no longer an oldschool programming language.
Whisky is no longer spelled WSGI
Cider was never a proprietary Windows games port for OS X
Beer is no longer a typo of “bear”, and vice versa.
Try Google Beers today!
At least we know that the guys over at Google/San Fran field office have a good sense of humor. It is probably partaken from where the work/the quality of their jobs. I’d imagine that someone that works at a Microsoft, would have the licenese plate characters that resemble: “I♥BILL”.
Hahaha or saying “BillWeMissU”
On the FAIL Blog you can clearly see that it’s a different car with that number plate. We can ONLY conclude from that that the Secret Service and Google are working on cloning devices.
Have you ever wondered how it can be that although Google only code their products once, many people can access then simultaneously around the world? More evidence for cloning!
Wait, TechCruch gets cloned too! You guys are in it as well!
I got a series of calls last night (on my Google Voice facility, a number that I have not given out to anybody), a little after 11 p.m., from someone who sounded like he was drunk and at a loud party; I couldn’t make out much of what he was saying. Eventually, I went quiet in confusion, suspecting that it was either a prank call or a wrong number; he said “Don’t hang up on me!” (obviously he was able to read my mind) and then, a few seconds later, while I was still debating with myself what to say, he said to the people around him “Motherfucker hung up on me!” and then he hung up. Then he called back and I accidentally hit the Ignore button on my phone, and he didn’t leave a message. Then a few minutes later he called back from a different phone number. I answered, and asked who he was, and he claimed his name was George as if I should recognize his name; when I said George who? he shrieked something unintelligible about a bush, and kept saying, drunkenly, “This is George, man! Piet, this is George!” I hung up and turned off my phone, because the caller clearly knew me — or maybe not. The fact that he kept using my name suggests that it was not a wrong number; on the first call, I answered the phone “Hello, this is Piet” as I usually do, so maybe he originally reached me by dialing a random number.
Part of what made me tense about this call, I should note, is that he had the same kind of overwrought tone and slightly slurred words that the last President used to have when he would call me while drunk, which he never did. And John’s legal first name was George, though he never went by that. This guy’s voice didn’t otherwise sound anything like John’s, but it still put me on edge. But I digress.
A while later, I turned the phone back on and found that I had voicemail. It seemed to be the same guy; this time, in a falsetto, he claimed to be a female Secret Service special agent and told me he had questions for me regarding an investigation and gave a phone number to call him back at.
This morning I woke up thinking that I could charge this “George” with impersonating a female Secret Service agent, or with reckless endangerment or something. However, I then started reading TechCrunch, which I do every morning, rain or shine, between 5 am and 11 am.
And then it all came together in my fevered mind: the word “DRUNK” in an unlikely place; Google (Voice); Secret Service; TechCrunch; and my incomplete T-shirt collection.
Coincidence? I don’t think so!
Everyone has it backwards. Google doesn’t work for the US Government, the US Government works for Google. The secret service occupy the same building as Google SF because that is the secret location of the true founders of Google, the secret service provide security. This all started during the anti-trust suit against Microsoft. Gates had been at a party discussing with A Melissa Myers about the new Microsft world domination project (Codenamed Internet Explore and Destroy) but unknown to a drunk Gates, Steve Jobs lay waiting in a dark corner taking notes on everything Gates said on his iTablet 1Gr. When Jobs threatened to expose Internet Explore and Destroy to the world Gates used his power in the US Government (his power won during the Global Hostage crisis codenamed Windows 95) to hadstly cover up the Internet Explore and Destroy program in a anti-trust case…. continued
After the anti-trust case had been settled it became too suspicious for Gates to continue his plans at Microsoft HQ. He established several ‘charities’ as cover while he built out his secret server farms in northern Africa before implementing the Geosyncronus Obersavation Overwatch Group (also known as Google). Using the server farm built in northern Africa Google was able to begin it’s processing of the worlds information in it’s quest to finally break the secrecy of Microsoft’s arch rival, Apple. With Google Voice Gates was hoping to listen in on all Apple phone calls and finally break the final specs with full video of the iTablet before Jobs could announce it later this October. With Jobs ban of GOogle Voice in the App Store, Gates was set back again. But not to be out done Gates used the same trick used to hide Internet Explore against Apple. Using the FTC Anti-trust investigation as cover Gates hopes to finally get his hands on the iTablet. The Drunk license plate you stumbled apon is a secret message by an Apple spy inside Google to warn Jobs of the FTC investigation and remind him of the party over ten years ago. You have stumbled upon something very big mister Arrington, be careful who you speak to. This is bigger than a series d round for Facebook.
-someone who was there
you’re amazing..
All of you are not well LOL
this is simply amazing. getting people to actually craft a good conspiracey story and good for laughs. i’ve read some really good one’s and some that have me questioning human beings.
All of you are not well LOL
Everything really started in 1997, when the American Secret Services needed to infiltrate homes all across the world and take a head start in the development of the new network: internet. It really intended to use the new network to its advantage in propaganda. Therefore, two secret service agents were recruited… Of the two, Sergey Brin was a Russian citizen but a brilliant student in mathematics thanks to his dad who was an acknowledged mathematician professor.
Why the Russian recruit? Because this guy knew the Russian system since his grandfather used to work for the KGB in the research department of artificial intelligence, which, at the time was in the process to develop an amazing LCD screen. Wow.
So this Russian guy who took the American Citizenship from 1997 created a year later with Larry Page a search engine called Google… The Secret Services had in mind to develop this engine so as to present the wanted results: looking for articles of 9/11? First result is official CIA public report. This method of propaganda in now-a-days called « google bombing » or “googlewashing” (check Wiki for more details).
But there remains one question? Why the ‘drunk’ plate. Well, within the walls of the Secret Service, it means: “Directeur de recherche universitaire de nouvelles keynotes”, which is French for “College research director of futuristic keynotes (yes they all speak French in the secret service). Did I say “Keynotes”? Yes, you’ve read well. Google and Apple, the 1976 computer company, worked closely together since Apple was developing the personal computer – Google could therefore impose its search engine in the public computers. And there you have it! The Secret Services control what you see through the google search engine! And a few weeks ago, when the Secret Services’ executive chief and fervent republican decided to attack the democratic party headed by Barack Obama, he told Google developers to sabotage the results when typing “worst failure ever” (back then, you’d fallen on the White House’s website).
Google are working with the Secret Service to begin production of advanced prototypes from the Google Labs division – Dynamic Robotic Ubiquitous Nanotechnology Kinematics
Google are in the process of becoming self aware..
“Google” and “The Secret Service” were both formed to protect an all-knowledgeable 300 pound baby with the likeness of a young Abe Vigoda from being found. The license plate is simply a distracter to make the group relate to us, on our level. Google workers are rumored to have started the phrases “LOL”, “ROFL”, and “OMG” in an effort to further assimilate themselves with the rest of the world.
Google is in fact a deep sleeper company set up and funded by the GRU and the Guoanbu. Originally Professor Unk recruited the two at Stanford under the ridiculous guise of giving them several hundred thousand dollars for copying Alta Vista. Over the past decade they have been recruiting the top programmers mainly to stop them working on anything worthwhile, but also to gain access to satellite information, hence google maps etc.
They have been funding this with thousands of Chinese prisoners clicking on ads 24 hours a day as part of a money laundering process. This they store in the building you have highlighted prior to it’s shipment back to the US and China. This in turn has caused a massive downturn in the US economy with all the poor suckers paying exorbitant and rising ad fees. Hence the onset of the credit crunch. In addition several years ago they started installing spyware on every PC in America. Remember the incident when google triggered that when it found every site to be a spyware site, well they upgraded that weekend and forget to whitelist their own spyware.
Now via the extensive usage of google docs they are now transitioning from reading government policy to actually start modifying it and writing it. There is now no need for an invasion, it will just become a new world order without you knowing it.
As a post note, Professor Unk went on to complete his doctorate, it is his car you see parked in the lot, with the vanity plate Dr.Unk not Drunk
See
I typed “shipment back to Russia and China. ”
and it was changed to
“shipment back to the US and China. ” !!!
Thank you for blowing our cover!
The entire building belongs to Google. The SSS office is in fact a cover for Google’s Secret new laboratory, and in fact some sources say that this is where Google is working on its next secret product (check Techcrunch.com to get the full story in a few days).
The DRUNK plate is Google message to the world of their next big acquisition Digg Reddit stumbUpon (there is a quiet ‘S’) Kristy.
It would not come as a surprise to me if they decide to move to a different location now.
What people need to understand about Google begins with the Simulation Hypothesis, the theory (rapidly gaining ground among respectable scientists) that we’re living in a simulation (ala “The Matrix”), and we’re all basically Sims. Whoever’s running the simulation (I vote for time travellers) chose to simulate this era because it’s the by far the best for observing what all the little ants in the ant farm are doing – we actually tweet, blog, wikim status update etc. all the little details of our lives, uploading them to a digital database for the ultimate ease of researchers/observers! All our creative products, thoughts, arguments, even our internal monologues are uploaded to the internet, which is the user interface of the simulation through which They can tell what’s up with us. Web 2.0 makes us MUCH easier to study and track, and Google was implemented to facilitate mass participation in this project. How else can you explain a huge, highly profitable corporation that gives away nearly all its products, treats its employees and customers very well, and hides behind walls of trade secrecy? (Oh, and this theory also works if we’re being studied by aliens and aren’t in a simulation.)
The Secret Service, naturally, the original MIB/”Agents,” work with Google to maintain the necessary degree of control over the experiment. That’s simple enough. The “DRUNK” plate is a clever piece of humor on their part, though…
Ask yourself: what would be the effects of driving with such a license plate? Would the police pull you over more often, or less? Surely no MORE often, because anyone so obviously labelled drunk clearly has nothing to hide and therefore probably should be left alone. It’s a koan, designed to challenge our brains to metacognitive levels that might yield more interesting behavior and products on our part. In addition, lower-functioning brains can be expected to simply drive with more caution around a car thus labelled, which is one way for field operatives (those inserted into the simulation/Matrix) to be a little less likely to be interrupted/terminated by mere stupidity on the part of primates who aren’t really qualified to operate dangerous machinery.
OK. This is what I gathered from my sources. Google does not have San Francisco office. Google’s office is just a cover up for black ops division of Secret Service. You probably ask yourself why should Secret Service attract so much publicity by putting Google office into their building? At first it seams very stupid, but let me explain it to you. This is really a perfect cover up because web sites like Techcrunch are also working on it. You know, Techcrounch starts a contest about craziest conspiracy theory, and then everybody thinks that it is funny. No one really suspects that anything illegal is going on down there. How “Drunk” license plate fits in this story? Well, that car was part of undercover mission. Goal was to retrieve the chip from ambassador who loves to visit night clubs. I think that they probably forgot to destroy the vehicle after the mission. If you ask yourself why would secret service put their black ops division H.Q. in the same building as their “legal” office, well…. They count on you to ask that…
Did anyone realize that there is a very positive spin to this story?
So, DRUNK is an acronymn really.
(D)isaster (R)ecovery (U)nit for (N)ew (K)iller ideas.
The car belongs to Big-G and Uncle Sam joint taskforce special agent (G-Man) who is responsible for dealing with new killer applications by either bringing them in-house (On2…) or re-inventing them (Wave is the new email…) and then floating these into public consiousness with the G brand (metaphorically speaking about the marine and ship proximity).
Analysed, wrote and published this piece on a Saturday noon (outside working hours, from home laptop, with no connections to company or people living or otherwise, past, present or future)… nuff-said.
lmfao.
The 345 Spear Street building is an entrance to the ‘The Hive’. The floors 2-4 and 5-6 are associated with peaceful civilian activities of well known organizations to distract the public from the floor 1 and the underground research laboratory set deep under San Francisco City approximately one mile below the metro.
(continued)
This undeground lab is run by a company called Rub. Secretely, they process the universe’s information and make it strictly classified and protected by employing Google and Secret Service. These organizations are in fact just extensions of Rub underground facility that serve as a gateway to the world’s population.
‘Nerd’ is the security operative placed in the building to protect the entrance. His name is ciphered according to the Spell-Reverse (S.R.) algorithm that renders DRUNK homophone when read backwards so that it looks legitimate. Nerd has a plan to bring the Rub down. He has security codes, access codes, and the works. He is attempting to give them out by drawing Techcrunch’s attention to the building and floor numbers. We estimate that the key is hidden behind the sequence of numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 345.
(continued)
Here’s the official company statement made by Google when the Spear location opened: “SF is significant to Google as we have many users, employees, advertisers and publishers here, and it is an important base for recruiting.” Obviously, SF is also significant to Rub as the building is used for recruiting new employees for the underground lab.
A research shows that the official site of the United States Secret Service has a page dedicated to what they call their “Dual Mission”. The exact wording does not reveal any duality as the service is designed to serve and protect. Most likely, the duality stems from the connection with Rub.
You are wrong. It is the Chinese Connection.
More precisely, it is the Chinese Food Connection !!!!
DRUNK: D (4th letter of the alphabet); R (18); U (21); N (14); K (11). When you add those numbers together you get 68. 6+8= 14.
When you do the same thing with SPEAR STREET you get 146 and when you add the street number (345) you get 491. 4+9+1= 14.
The number 14 is the multiplication of 2 primes; 2 and 7. Now when you do that alphabet thing with GOOGLE you get 61. 6+1=7.
First strange coincidence…
Now, just look at this picture of the building’s front door: http://bit.ly/15BuiG Around the door, there are 7 low relief sculptures.
Second strange coincidence…
If you look at Google’s street view for Spear Street, guess what? There are just 7 people in the street (screenshot here: http://bit.ly/Z8iE3).
Third strange coincidence…
Where do secret services fit in all this? Just apply the alphabet thing to SECRET SERVICE. What do you get? 151, that’s right. 1+5+1= 7
Coincidence? It starts to add up…
Now, just out of curiosity, just type “7 deadly sins spear street google secret service” in Google. The first result is an article named “Cyberwar, Military applications of network attack and defense”. The article’s domain name is cromwell-intl.com If you just do a quick research on companies named “Cromwell Intl”, one will quickly pop out. That’s right, the one located at 345 Spear Street, San Francisco.
Coincidences? I don’t think so.
Brilliant! You went far on that one Arnaud!
Bravo. That deserves a t-shirt.
Here’s a towel. Why don’t you wipe that “too-much-time” off your hands…
Instead of a towel, he can use his new T-Shirt
That one was *great* – but that stuff doesn’t take too much time. Since you’re allowed to do absolutely anything you want to the numbers, it’s easy to find ways to make them relate.
Seriously, something is strange: since I wrote the comment, the website where I found the record for Cromwell Intl went offline…
Arnaud? Arnaud? What happened? One minute you were there and now you have …. just … disappeared ..
Help me
A+ for effort. Me likey.
I would definitely give this guy a t-shirt. Great conspiracy theory. It was really interesting to read. It also reminded me of those 9/11 conspiracy theories =O
But yeah, good job!
Hell, all it needed was for Nicholas Cage to say….
“The United States State Archive Building in St. Paul MN whose address is also numbered 345. Knowing that, we can guess that the next clue is located at 345 Spear Ave. in Duluth MN, since we know them northerners are crafty and such.”
Good one ! you deserve the T shirt !
geez. you went all x-files on this one. this one deserves a shirt. it didn’t make me laugh like the others but it’s better than the other guy and his coincidences:
Piet
“And then it all came together in my fevered mind: the word “DRUNK” in an unlikely place; Google (Voice); Secret Service; TechCrunch; and my incomplete T-shirt collection.
Coincidence? I don’t think so!”
and the dude who threatned to go the e-jihadi route.
Amazing. I was about to reply with: “May all your 7s come true” when it hit me to search the term you mentioned – and sure enough….unreal.
Well clearly this is all to do with the Secret Service Moonshine Etc conspiracy of 1997. It was never proven, but many people believed the San Francisco Secret Service were running multiple questionable businesses out of the building, such as illegal production of alcohol products, selling fools gold to fools as gold and conning stamp collectors.
A brave soul tried to infiltrate the operation, but unfortunately they were never heard from again. It’s rumoured however that they were sold as a slave to Microsoft, who were clearly in on the Secret Service’s secret businesses, being the provider of their computer products.
When word got out of these happenings in 1998, the Secret Service worked closely with Microsoft to cover it up. This included, of course, Microsoft remotely accessing computers of those with evidence of the illegal activities, deleting their entire hard drives and, of course, voiding their activation keys for any Microsoft products. By the trial in 1999 there was no evidence left; the case was dropped.
Years later, Google caught wind of this. How you ask? They stumbled upon a long lost site, indexed it and examined it’s contents. They discovered that the site contained all the documents that Microsoft had worked so hard to destroy. Wanting to know more, Google worked long and hard to become a big enough company to gain possession of the floors directly below the SF Secret Service. Eventually they managed this, but still they could not get enough evidence (the online documents mysteriously disappeared and the domain is now registered to a “Mr Bing”).
Google have tried to gain access to the higher floors of the building many times, but it is guarded by a virtual paper clip who says to them “I see you’re trying to gain access to the Secret Service floors”, then the building crashes. These crashes cause the building to lock down, and it takes in the region of 4 days to boot it up again. Google have now begun developing their own OS to run their section of the building, so at least when these crashes happen they can continue to function.
Employees of Google’s SF office have started thinking out side of the box when it comes to getting information on the 1997 SFSSME conspiracy. If they can’t get into the office, they will have to get to the people. One employee in the Google office happened to be trained in the ways of breaking an enemy by mind games, and so they came up with the idea to change all of the Google employees’ number plates to things relating to the illegal activities, such as the “DRUNK” one you have photographed here.
Are you perhaps also trying to take down the SF SS and Microsoft by exposing their activities? You should contact Google with the codeword “Caffeine”.
Cyborg, is the answer, secret service is working on making the ultimate Robocop, connected wirelessly to the internet and powered by Google, it can learn new skills by simply downloading them from the secret service servers (remember The Matrix? But 100 times more faster).
The Cyborg runs twice as fast as Bolt, thinks faster than Einstien (imagine Einstien’s brain plus 16GB of RAM), can control other electronics wirelessly, has access to every security barrier in the world. A few years back a testing phase took place to teach the cyborg how to drive and immediately hop in the car and go, he learned how to drive in .016 seconds but unfortunately its super fast speed created a spark which burned the back the car (as you can see near the plate), unaware of this the cyborg went on with its orders, driving the car with the backside on fire, secret service had to cover it up, hence the license plate, to give the impression that yes, he was drunk.
The plot thickens when I tell you who is the base for this research? The half human part is none other, yes you guess it, ladies and gentlemen, Michael Jackson is not 100% dead.
i was just reading gabby’s comment above yours and i was liike i haven’t read anything about a super computer robot and you went with the borg. now i have to think of something else.
Due to pressure from the White House to stay relevant the Secret Service have decided to join forces with Google to buy Twitter, the decision was made after witnessing the successful partnership the CIA have had with Facebook over the years in gathering intel. Google will front as the new owners and will be provided with govt subsidies to run the business, thus solving the need for a business model. Mr Arrington of Techcrunch fame was there as a character witness for MG Seigler who is applying for a role to become a propaganda writer for the newly formed partnership. George W Bush was visiting his old body guard at the time, hence the plate. It is expected the former president will also take on a consulting role within the venture as its Global ambassador due to his popularity around the World.
Google Street View blocks license plates for a reason. They aren’t necessarily supposed to be showcased on the internet, no matter what they say.
Ok, ok — clearly the driver is looking for some attention with a tag that says ‘DRUNK’.
Technically everything on this side of the pond is constructed on top of an ancient Native American burial ground.
Haha true enough..
If you watch any Scooby Doo episode with an ancient Native American burial ground (there is quite a few) and play the part where they rip the mask off the bad guy backwards it says, “Meet for coffee at 345 Spear Street.”
“Like I don’t know, Scooby (LIDKS)” is actually a signal for Locked in Deep (K)Combat Situation.
We haven’t heard much about Dubya since he left office. Rumor has it he left in a fit of rage and kept wondering how Osama had beaten the Republican party in the election. No matter, Dubya had his old job to return to… As Chief Intelligence Officer at Google, based out of San Francisco. You see, while we all know about Google’s voracious appetite for acquisitions, there was a small one they made that never made much fanfare. This is because Cheney blocked all media access and blacked out all reference to it citing state secrets. Back in 2001, right before 9/11, Google acquired the Secret Service so as to have direct influence with presidents and other high profile law makers. Google’s money-printing machine had to go on afterall and since advertising dollars were already declining, Google decided to make the smartest decision of their lives, take over the Secret Service, and put the genius of George W to work for them. You see, all counterfeit money now seized is legitimized and deposited in Google’s bank accounts. Of course the one perk that Budya demanded for himself was a vanity license plate. “Drunk”, not as a reference to himself, but as a reference to Sergey and Larry when they sealed the deal that put the most sinister personal freedoms violater in charge of all intelligence gathering at Google. Yes, GW is not in charge of all the inflow of information at Google.
How do I know? Well, I’ve heard hints from people on the inside “W, walking the halls? That’s odd” and “Huh, why are Larry and Sergey kowtowing in front of G-Dub?”
Of course since Cheney had all the records blocked in interest of national securty we won’t know for at least 25 years… or perhaps ever.
Should say “Yes, GW is NOW in charge of all the inflow of information at Google.”
Christ, rife with errors. Budya = Dubya
How about instead of a t-shirt you give me #1 spot in line for buying a Crunchpad? Seriously… its my gottahave toy for 2009
Nah, nah. Wait! Guys! All that stuff? That’s what *they* want you to believe.
Clearly Arrington is not aware of the magnitude of the situation he haphazardly stumbled across. Just a heads up: THEY ARE ALWAYS CLOSE BY.
This is soooo obvious! Why can’t anybody else see what it really is? Whoever was in charge of this cover-up did a terrible job.
To start out with Google is actually just a front of the Secret Service (this should be obvious if you think about it, how else do you think the SS is able to find and prosecute every single vaguely-worded threat made against the US president online? They use Google’s vast computing power to scan every single web page in existence! (The search engine thing is baloney, who searches for anything anyway?) And how do they keep track of all the ill-conceived and poorly thought-out assignation plans? Easy! Everybody uses Gmail to communicate nowadays (and Google Voice too). Feel comforted that all your ‘private’ communication is in the hands of Big Brother! )
But it gets worse, much worse… The license plate makes it painfully clear that the Secret Service is little more than a branch of the Uganda Bar Association. Just check out wikipedia [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_consumption_by_country] and you can plainly see that Uganda has the highest alcohol consumption per capita in the world. And because we know that the Uganda Bar Association is involved, we know that lawyers are involved. You can now insert the first lawyer joke you think of here. The joke you just thought of shows how deeply cats are involved in this government cover-up. The ‘government’ (a.k.a. corrupt Ugandan lawyers) has been trying to corrupt our minds every since June 19, 1978 (the day Garfield was first run). This corruption has come in varying forms over the years ranging from comic strips to cheezburgers, but it’s goal has always been the same: to corrupt out minds with cats so deeply that we are willing to hire corrupt lawyers, thereby driving more revenue to the UBA. In the end, money is what makes the world go ‘round.
345 Spear Street sits atop a rift in space-time created by a hyper intelligent race of silicon based aliens. The rift allows for limited physical time travel, but is predominantly used for “future or past viewing”. While both Google and the Secret Service are unaware of the original origins of the rift, both organizations use it to their advantage. The secret service has been employing it since roughly 1970 and even tried to use it briefly to prevent the Kennedy assassination whereby they realized you cannot change the past once it has occurred. Google, quite obviously, uses it to drive their business model and decisions. The license plate DRUNK was placed there by the aliens as a warning to other aliens to stay the hell out of San Francisco.
Actually, its not DRUNK, it’s D.R.U.N.K. – the Department of Rare and Unidentified Nano Kernels. Larry accidentally stumbled upon it while researching the latest stable version of the Linux kernel. It all started with this – http://www.goog...pigeonrank.html
And the Secret Service has a similar carrier pigeon research project that they have been collaborating on with Larry. Google is just the front.
hahaha nano kerenels and carrier pigeon’s? how did you come up with this one?
I’m not allowed to talk about this. I’m sorry.
Why was my entry deleted it was 750 words long?
’cause it was right.
I just got a post deleted the other day, not sure if this is just an editor that don’t like the post -or- if they use some type of automated spam control and you use a stop word or stop phrase and get auto trashed.
But yea, you will for sure get deleted here at TechCrunch.
See, that’s the rub, this post IS the conspiracy. Its a trap to weed out all the “clue”. Do you see people (agents) with suits and dark sunglasses? Perhaps a deja vu moment? Shit dude! You’re busted.
Oh – and the “Drunk” plate? It’s a new stealth gEchelon Street View monitoring vehicle.
Now I know my theory is right! Google/USSS are copying and feeding my comments into a new spambot/malware tool called “Tony”. The comments are being duplicated on websites everywhere to discredit me.