Our commenters have proven themselves to be a brilliant bunch once again today. Perhaps you saw our best comment ever a few weeks ago. That’s followed-up today by a commenter, tenthings, who has deciphered the code Apple uses to reject apps. Funny, we’ve been led to believe all this time that human beings actually look at the apps and make the call — even though it often doesn’t seem like it — but the script makes much more sense.
Behold, the code:
i just hacked into the App-store approval system. here’s what i found (pseudocode):
flipCoin()
if (heads)
approve app
else
reject app
wait 1 week
if (pressCoverage >= lotsOf)
rejectMoreApps
else if (pressCoverage >= tooMuch)
fireBoardMember
else
rejectAppAnyway
This seems to make a lot more sense then Apple VP Phil Schiller’s long-winded response to one rejection earlier today. And explains Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s removal from Apple’s board of directors perfectly.
stupid.
Thats what I’m sayin.
lol
At last! Someone finally figured it out!
Haa I saw this earlier and lol’d
wow didn’t think the comment would be upgraded!
btw there is an obvious flaw in the code, as tooMuch > lotsOf
(quickly hiding where the apple hawks cannot find me)
we reward good work here.
Wow, Really? This deserved it’s own post?
I saw it in the earlier comments, but c’mon… it’s not THAT great or THAT funny.
yeah it’s lame
anyway, thanks MG
From a developers stand point it is hilarious to me!!
I disagree. This is actually pretty freaking funny. Especially for those who are developers.
Funny, that’s the code Im using on the app I’m developing.
man, MG sucks. in fact, this whole site is just rubbish now.
are you out of stories since Twitter isnt working today?
Do you honestly think he sucks or are you just being extra troll-like because twitter is down?
/Irony.
Dear Techcrunch,
Do you make money with all this bad press at Apple or you just flipping the coin?
Because you know, a month ago you were just the biggest motherfu**ing Apple fanblog.
flipping the coin flipping the coin flipping the coin flipping the coin…
love it. a call to be more biased. brilliant.
It’s posts like this that cause some to deem TechCrunch less credible than they already think
Perhaps VIP “commenters” could be have a blue back color… similar to how TC staff have a green background.
VIPs: best comment ever guy, tenthings, Scoble, the guy with neat hair that sort of looks like Alan Rickman (Sorry, I forget his name).
ha, who is the alan rickman guy? i want to meet him.
Sean Percival
ha.
yeah!
I’ve always wondered how that guy is almost always the first comment. He must have a bot that has predetermined comments or something. Either that or he’s literally refreshing TC all freaking day.
At least he doesn’t say “1st” when he is and I do have to give him credit for his funny first comment on the Best Comment Ever post.
btw MG… Alan Rickman
http://blog.new...AlanRickman.jpg
yeah. i’m glad he doesn’t do the first thing. how did saying/typing ‘first’ in the comments section become so wide spread. i see it on some of the other boards i visit and i still don’t get it. i’ve been using the internet 10+ years and it still hasn’t become acceptable to me. remindes me of playing tag or something on the playground.
me google alert ears
they be burning
uhm i think it’s a bad thing if i read that and imagined the offspring of the lucky charms leprachaun and ludacris.
oh yeah the alan rickamn looking guy who always gets first comment…some people were making fun of him a couple stories back in the comment section. man.
and i thought it was aqua and black or other colours…and that the non tc people have the standard bluegray black look.
tenthings has some of the better comments on this website and even if this wasn’t that funny it looks to be true.
the first best comment was really funny.
actually there’s some really good comments to be found on this website. i haven’t figured out a precentage yet because i am a noob, but if i stick here long enough maybe i can say 50% good and 50% crap and back it up.
TC lays it out for the “commenters” to play it out.
lol. well atleast the option is left to me. it’s not like tc is dictating to anyone…or are they…
Not to me. If I was accepted to TC50 2009, maybe.
Not blue… MobileCrunch uses blue. I think you should be able to “like” comments just like you do on Facebook.
Yawn
Are you out of interesting stuff to post?
Thanx for adding some levity to this Apple Apps store confusion. If I was in business with Apple at this point I wouldn’t know what to do. They are the hottest thing smoking right now so who would leave them?
lmao your the man, this was a good laugh.
This comment was of 4chan comedy quality. Not what I would expect anyone over the age of 16 to laugh at.
And you laughed because you are 15 and a half?
Not too funny. Should have made a more complex series atleast 100 lines of code for all us geeks. This is too simple
real geeks try to create one line code….
if (word==fuck) {reject} else {rejectanywayuntildeveloperwritesablog}
wow stupidest post ever
Yes. The App Store rejection phenomenon may seem like total voodoo to some people. It’s fortunate that the hockey helmet keeps you from hurting yourself.
I knew this comment would end up as a post. Funny stuff.
Here’s another thing to break the code on, what ever happened to the $100 Mil special KP VC fund for iPhone Apps that was announced with such fanfare when the AppStore opened… how much has been given out and to whom.
nice…
Humor = 6/10
Pseudocode = 6/10
Logic = 0/10
Guts to post a silly thing like that= 10/10
time waster
Now, for something less silly: more apple arbitrariness:
Apple has been rejecting phonegap-created apps for Months (phonegap allows you to build html-based apps on many phones). I got my own app rejected 1 month ago.
As of yesterday, phonegap apps are starting to be accepted again.
Where’s the logic here?
link: http://twitter.com/phonegap
I solved that issue, I removed all references to phonegap in my code, and haven’t been reject yet… 33 apps in store
App rejection process?
We need an iTunes rejection process. The 3.0.1 upgrade bricked my iPhone last night.
Thanks, Apple!
When in doubt, reject the app anyway. Makes sense.
on funny scale 7
Made me laugh, from a web developer point of view. It is good to have some humor!
lol you didn’t get the memo from dan grossman @djg above? you’re not allowed to laugh at this if you’re over the age of 16. all jokes should come with a age appropriate ratings. they do it for video games, so they need to do that for all comedy (i’m not talking about the comedy dvd ratings).
I submitted a “yo momma” app on the store, and the first reviewer said it was obscene, crude, and vulgar…. ummm yeah, it’s supposed to be… they took particular offense to this line “yo momma so ugly she gotta get her kids drunk before they’ll take milk from her breast”… it got rejected… two weeks latter I resubmitted same app, and it went straight through… my guess is that the first reviewer was an fat ugly momma, and the second had a sense of humor.
whogivesahoot=true;
for { i=0; i < apps.length; i++ }
if (whogivesahoot) reject.apps[i]
}
this is news????
I had a good laugh when I saw this comment earlier today.
It really is frustrating for anyone who has submitted an app to the App Store and then waits and waits for it to be reviewed.
In my case I waited 1 month and two weeks and I eventually received a call from Apple out of the blue yesterday (details of which I will provide once it is clear that is, as the person who called wasnt sure either).
I work very closely with developers to promote their iPhone apps http://www.appgiveaway.com and I still cant work out the App Store review system however I am not sure the review team really know what is acceptable and what isnt.
If app is approved
wait a week anyway
also move to end of queue
wow, you apple fanboys need to get a life. lighten up! geez, anytime anyone has anything even remotely bad to say about apple, you get your panties in a bunch!
i thought this was HILARIOUS!
funny but wrong… I think you found the disinformation version!
Because every developer knows there is the huge chasm between approval and rejection called “in Review” (aka app review purgatory). I’ve been there 38 days. Long enough that my code and I are going to have to wear nametags so we’ll recognize each other.
I’ve even thought of creating (on the WEB of course not on the phone) appReview THE GAME. And yes the secret algorithm was that is was just going to be random. Keep the developers scared and malleable. And if something harmful gets approved? Well they have end users and support people to discover that.