Yuck! Today, I’m told, is National Handshake Day. It’s also Take Your Dog To Work Day & National Chocolate Pudding Day, apparently. And, err, it’s National Watermelon Seed Spitting Week.
But back to the handshaking thing. It’s disgusting and we need to put a stop to this medieval practice. Most people agree with me. Those that don’t are the people that don’t wash their hands after they use the bathroom. You have to decide which side you’re on.
I urge people to follow OpenCandy’s lead – no more hand shakes. A good place to start is at board meetings.
Update:
Keep fighting the good fight Mike.
Just because you’re socially inept and unable to forge real life relationships, doesn’t mean we should have to follow suit.
There is medication for your phobia. I know you have the blowup girlfriend part alreadly covered.
Can’t wait till there’s a job on CrunchBoard to close doors and flush toilets for Michael.
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they shake your hand. I bet you have a weak and clammy handshake, Mr. Michael Arrington.
I had so much to say, then read the above comments. Now that several hours later, I picked myself off the floor…
A handshake is respectful and polite behavior. A must-do.
By the way, I think about washing my hands also…that is a natural reaction. We as humans can control our reactions though. Wait until lunch time, or wait until you go home, then wash your hands. It all works out.
It is a good habit to keep your hands out of your face. Your only risks are eyes, nose, ears, mouth. The rest of the body, barring open sores (yuck I know) is pretty germ proof.
By the way, God also designed us to be lightening proof. The survivors are pretty good indicators that body phobias should be tossed aside.
So stop worrying Michael, or get some help in controlling your response.
Girls love dudes who shun away from human interaction.
Totally, completely normal behavior on your part.
It’s officially called Michael’s Princess Protection Program
How about a french hand shake, ie kissing someones hands :p
Just get the pres. (doesn’t matter which one, they’re all the same) to make a statement.
you’re either a hand-shaker, or a terrorist
too bad my logic didn’t come through on that one
let’s try again
you’re either against hand-shakers, or you’re a terrorist
Seriously…handshakes are nothing. Check out http://StuffRichPeopleLove.com and read about Air Kissing and Hand Kissing. At least when you shake you don’t risk putting their hand in your mouth!
If it’s the hand of beautiful woman, who cares where it’s been. :p
Seriously…handshakes are nothing. Check out the site StuffRichPeopleLove and read about Air Kissing and Hand Kissing. At least when you shake you don’t risk putting their hand in your mouth!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Nooooooooooooooooooo
Thanks to your handshake awareness campaign i’ve adopted open mouth kissing. with tongues in some cases. its a bit awkward at first, especially for peoples moms…but it catches on.
it might work! lol
what nonsense.
shaking hands will ensure the health of our immune systems by getting us sick. sterilizing everything will kill off all the germs on the planet and thereby open us to attack from Mars.
and how will we defend ourselves then? HUH?
hopefully i beat havoc in this post. probably not.
hahahahahahahahahahahhaha
Despite your sarcasm and embellishment, you actually have a point about keeping our immune systems strong.
MA is probably the same kind of idiot who won’t let his kids go outside until they’re five and then complains about his bad luck when his kids are allergic to everything.
The fact that there’s a National Watermelon Seed Spitting Week disturbs me at least just as much.
I know. They really don’t need a week. 3 or 4 days at the most.
I’m from Mississippi and all the businesses close during the Watermelon Seed Spitting Day. It’s become as big as Christmas here. Multi-billion industry built around it……seed providers, bucket providers to catch the seeds, mouth wiping cloths, etc.
It was also national constipation week . Well, it started out as a day, but…
Obsessive-compulsive?
Must be related to Howie Mandel
Seek
Professional
Help
Immediately
more like germaphobe
What a moral boost for your staff.
No you’re not seriously f’d up social misfit.
No really, you’re NOT.
Seriously, you’re normal.
Really…
Good thing you hire professional writers. Nice op piece. Couldn’t agree less unless it was you whom I was meeting.
Might as well put on the bubble suit. People have been shaking hands for years, a handshake is just as important to first impressions as the clothes your wearing. Maybe just keep a purell bottle on your keychain? As there slogan puts it “IMAGINE A TOUCHABLE WORLD®” lol
If everyone agrees with you on Techcrunch, you should start using an alternative (e.g. fist bump) in the office and write about it. Maybe more people will follow.
Wholeheartedly agree. I will shake, if forced in a situation where a business relationship is at stake, but even then, if I’m sick or in any way feeling under the weather I will refrain and explain to the person that although I’d love to shake their hand, I am feeling ill and don’t want to pass it on to them. It’s usually appreciated. I also keep a bottle of purel on hand to use after I shake other’s hands (using it subtly, not pulling it out right there in front of them).
I’ve been thinking lately that I should just feign sick (or starting to feel under the weather) all the time so I don’t have to shake.
seriously? wtf is wrong with you?
I handshake and I wash my hands. You are probably “pee on the floor” guy, just like every fat guy.
while we are at it, I’d like to put a stop to the MTA putting up bars on trains for people to hold on to. Those things are probably far worse than any toilet or handshake.
In fact, lets just all sit at home in a plastic bubble twittering each other all day.
This site has gone downhill…..uggggg
I believe in a thing called the “Immune System”.
You can’t hide from bad bacteria just by not shaking hands. You should wear gloves if its such a big deal.
PS: Also, you should run away from a toilet after you flush- fecal matter gets thrown in the air up to six feet.
We should get rid of this day altogether, yes let’s shake on it!
Chairman: National Association of ALL U Can Eat Buffet Critics (AUCEBC).
Past President: What do Breasts Look Like? (WDBLL?)
Vice President: People Afraid to Come Out from Mother’s Fruit Cellar (PACOFMFC)
North American Director: Pasty Chubby Guys Picked Last in Every Team Sport (PCGPLETS)
Honorary Chairman: People for the Ethical Treatment of Phobic Nerds (PFETPN)
Mike – How do you feel about handling paper money? Seems like the same issues apply.
So what do you do when somebody offers you a hand shake? Jump away and cower in the corner?
Mike, stop eating hamburgers without washing hands. That will be a good begining.
So many days for so many different things? Who can keep up with them?
what about the hi five? or fist pound?
can we do those mike?
haaaah
Mike, your proposal sounds interesting for some people, the “early adopters”. The problem is, like Reid Hoffman said once, how you get your first million adopters? What’s your distribution plan? How you plan to reach the masses
? How do you go mainstream? Maybe it’s time to call Oprah?
….and most important, how are you going to monetize this?
Seriously, see a shrink. You clearly have some serious phobias.
Yeah, I forgot about the monetizing part
…but we need users first…we’ll figure out how to make money later 
…
Sigh…I guess this is what happens when even TechCrunch has enough Twitter coverage.
TC, I follow your posts religiously but this is borderline offensive, off topic and potentially off putting to your readers.
What does this have to do with technology? You are not stupid. Please, focus on what you are good at and spare us your opinions on non-technology matters if you are not willing to approach the subject seriously.
that was an awful, pointless article. I just lost 30 seconds of my life that I’ll never get back.
Get over yourself. You can’t kill or keep every germ at bay. You’re better off trying to build up your immunity.
I just went around my house and offered everyone the handshake. My brother he acknowledged and stretched out a hand as did my sister and her friend. When I approached my father his first question was to ask where my hand had been..
Hehe, I love these quirky posts.
Mike, this kind of thing doesn’t bode well for your romantic life.
Jeez, more of this? Can you please start handshakecrunch so those who want to read about this can congregate there, and techcrunch can stick with its tech coverage? PLEASE?
My suggestion for the right start to a board meeting, not including handshakes:
- Pre-meeting mosh pit
- Crotch-rub’s
- The mating of the business cards
- Eskimo kisses
- tip-of-the-tongue
- Mooning
- The Wave
- Sexting
- Swapping pictures of significant other
There is so much else we can do besides the boring old handshake.
Arrington, you are to funny.
The people that agree with you are either nerds who have no social skills or people that want to be covered by TechCrunch.
You made my week.
Can one person on this earth use ‘too’ correctly in a sentence?!
It’s to hard.
>D
Go back down to the fruit cellar and type more inane Op/Ed pieces, Idiot.
Mike’s a paranoid germaphobe.
Mike, do like me and carry purell.
Sure, you can think this way because you have a nice outfit here with TC bringing you money, but for those of us that need to still conduct ourselves in the business world, not giving a handshake is utter disrespectful and won’t get you far.
RIP Michael Jackson.
I can now see the value in Twitter as it is the only place fast enough to have this news.
Thanks Twitter.
RIP Michael Jackson.
I can now see the value in Twitter as it is the only place fast enough to have this news.
Thanks Twitter.
Although they are not allowed in All U Can Eat Buffets….
damn you computer geeks are really computer geeks
Come on Mike, let it go.
It was fun the first time, but it becomes ridiculous.
At least it is a good manner to have a lot of comment posted.
There are so many things much more important.
Didn’t take you for a Hugger, Michael. ; )
Or to be so squeamish. Very Niles Crane of you.
“Most people” agree with you? Most who you know agree with you.
Mike, you’re a nerd and you’re surrounded by nerds.
Pretend to be normal
Here’s how the world will look in the alternate reality that MA is hoping to create:
http://www.yout...h?v=1cpHC5dgj1Y
Works for me, except for maybe kick on the ass instead of a kiss from a guy.
Questions for all those in favor of MA’s proposal:
1. Do you take your (piss-covered) shoes off at your doorstep or do you walk around the house – or worse, step on the couch and the bed with them?
2. Do you share food/drinks that people around you offer you or want to taste?
3. Do you let your dog kiss you?
If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions and still support MA’s fantasy, do some homework for your own sanity and health (common sense apparently doesn’t work for you).
awesome video. added it to the post.
you still sound like a big fat queen from the 1600s
Very entertaining post
Can you get swine flu from shaking hands? I hope not.
How do we manage the fine line between handshaking as nonverbal affirmation and client relations? Especially when “liking” of perceived liking/respect is a biological imperative for relationships and implies touching. See my post: http://danerwin...a-nice-guy.html
I need your help!
Yes you can get the swine flu if you touch your face afterwards. See:
http://lowtecht...w-tech-methods/
It seems to me that the Watermelon Speed Spitting Week should be held later in the summer…
Don’t fret Arrington. You get your day next week during the celebration of National Weirdo Germophobe Blogger day.
I can tell a lot about a person from a handshake, and I find it to be a fairly important greeting. I am, however, courteous enough to avoid shaking hands if I’m sick, though I never cough or sneeze on my hand, I always do both into my elbow joint (seriously, this would be a better thing to promote than not shaking hands).
Why don’t you use a handkerchief?
Because I’m not 70 years old, and don’t carry one.
Never understood why people wanted you to was your hands after you pee.. my penis is clean – my hands are dirty. wash before you pee
So next you’re gonna get rid of the hug and then the kiss? No thanks, I’ll keep shaking hands.
Good thing Mike you don’t have a real job or social life.
If you are saying that you get sick by shaking hands, arent you going to get sick for all these things that you touched, which are already being touched by maybe millions of people and not being cleaned just for once?
Women kiss, men shake hands.. Thats how it works for over centuries, lets keep it that way, cuz i dont want to start kissing man cheeks :S
Excessive handshaking is a disease I picked up in undergrad business school, it’s something I still have to struggle with on a daily basis
Next you will be wanting people to stop breathing the same air; how about the people serving you coffee have to sanitize their hands first; or even those people writing (insulting) comments on this post are moving the same atoms in your space – run to the hills – actually better not because they are weird there too.
So the solution is simple: find a climate controlled server room and move in. Don’t worry about the halon gas fire extinguisher system, it won’t go off unless their is a fire (or someone pushes the button).
Hugs and kisses.
As far as the “breathing the same air” problem, I vote for everyone wearing a mask like Michael Jackson.
Shaking hands does seem a bit old-school, but seriously Mike, it’s not a leading cause of infectious disease. There are many ways to transfer bacteria and viruses between humans, both less intimate and more intimate than a handshake. You’d better stop eating food that is handled or cooked by someone else, opening doors in public buildings, breathing, etc.
I think Rome is about to rant about it right now 1:55PT on ESPN
Exactly how relevant is this post here?
To hanshake or not to handshake that is the question.
On a personal side it is better because you indeed avoid quite a lot of germs.
On a global scale, it weakens immune systems of people.
So when I feel like It is not time to get sick I do not shake hands. And when I feel like hey let’s reinforce the immune system, I shake hand.
Easy, no ?
Also many people simply wash their hand after the hello tour of the morning.
And by the way when a French guy (Pasteur) first spoke about hygiena, microbs, and washing hands before surgery everybody laughed at him…