Chris Yeh from PBWorks responds to Things A Venture Capitalist Will Never Say slide show with a few funny-because-they-are-true slides of his own: Things A Startup Founder Will Never Say
My favorite: “We reached out to you because your portfolio shows you are about as selective as Paris Hilton.” Good one! Second favorite: “Our marketing plan is to pray for TechCrunch coverage.”
Founder Non-Admissions
View more OpenOffice presentations from Chris Yeh.
Thats a good one.
I especially like the Flip-Flop One.
Yesterday alot of new companies were building their startups on Twitter, now its the concept of realtime. Two weeks ago it was the ‘cloud’ and a month ago it was web 2.0
half-funny at best
Undoubtedly the largest case of corporate penis envy I’ve ever seen.
hahaha ! absolutely true..
so true about techcrunch coverage…
Yeah. If you get covered on Techcrunch, or even get a small link in a post, you get tons of visits. #awesome
Sucks for you if your site isn’t sticky…
LOL
haha! Not bad at all.
Haha very good. There should be something about being “tweeted” about as well
TC Coverage part is very good 
11 – being second or third isn’t that bad
12 – its a 3 million dollar market (i think)
13 – friendster is our model
14 – we gonna spend most of the money on banners!
14 – If we can reach just 1% of our target audience…
That’s my favorite! You have to love the optimism of “if we can get just 1%”
“Our marketing plan is to pray for TechCrunch coverage.” – ouch, that hits home
But I like to make my own if that doesn’t happen.
15Its not about the product, its about the – marketing!
” It’s all about the money at this point, I am realistic enough to know that our vision won’t change the world”
15 – Its not about the product, its about the marketing (push push push – http://www.yout...h?v=kvbWLfr-Z4s ) !
Meh… not funny at all.
Well ur kinda right, its not as funnny as the original but its a good laugh
agreed… I’ve seen some far wittier ones out there. The actual original thread regarding VC’s on ExpertCEO is way funnier.
not as funny as the vc one. You sound like a little girl crying cause someone made fun of your favorite rainbow bright doll.
Face it vc’s usually don’t have depth of knowledge in any field and generally it’s an industry where entraprenuers go to die.
more than likely they know they are talking to a guy who isn’t a seasoned business person so i’d say more than half those slides are criticizing someone who is clueless who the vc knows is clueless. You sit a 21 year old computer science grad in front of you and ask him about company culture, his financial projections, the emerging market he plans to dominate, the companies strategic team build out over time and you’re really surprised that he messes that up? I think then you’d be a bigger moron than Arrington made you fools out to be.
i know a few good vc’s raised $10M in my last startup.. still good friends with each of the board members there are a few good ones out there if you look hard enough but in no way are they perfect and in general have a hive mentality on deals… Kids goto the same schools, they see eachother at the same social events and most if not all eat in downtown palo alto and wear blue shirts.
Some of the many reasons we choose not to take VC. My company is now thriving while our competitors are dead. All of them took VC. LOL.
You’d be surprised how little money you need when you make good business decisions.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
See http://www.slid...-non-admissions
You should post ther original thread from ExpertCEO on here, the comments there are hilarious. This one is ok, but it’s not nearly as good as the one on ExpertCEO
Consider yourself lucky if you’re just 700% off
not quite as funny as the VC one but still good.
deck-tac-ular
#16 – Nothing could ever go wrong since we are all Stanford PhD’s.
16. The only risk is the world may end, or a nuclear weapon may detonate.
world of warcraft. yehforgames!
I would add:
Honesty, of course we have an exit strategy: Google
Ha, good one. And again, all too true.
jajajaj ..Good ..but not funny .Great TechCrunch coverage.
So true especially about TC
“Our marketing plan is to pray for TechCrunch coverage.” Is the best one…………….
Below is my input……..
WE FOUND THE NEXT CHEESE ( Social Network Aggregators )
http://www.tech...the-new-cheese/
Classic stuff. As a former IT start-up impresario, twice over, so much of that rings true. If only we didn’t have to play the game, and didn’t have to go through the motions of pretending to predict the future, more innovations would emerge. I can say this with 95% surety. +/- 5% of course
The crazy thing is that both sides know it’s a game. I’ve sat on both sides of that conference table numerous times.
When you get experienced investors and experienced entrepreneurs together, it is possible to cut through a lot of the BS. Maybe it’s why both sides show such a noted tendency towards cronyism–if you’re going to trust someone, it might as well be someone you already know and trust.
hehehe, like it Mike….
, whether its Cloud, Web 2.0, Social n/w, twitter based apps/api’s, realtime apps.. startup ideas are changing every 15 days depending on the next big thing… but that thing abt TechCrunch coverage.. GOTCHYA
#17 Our marketing plan primarily involves mom and dad posting glowing reviews under pseudonyms. Over and over again.
It’s quite difficult to make a startup company
Cool!
the objective is to be covered by TC
this was just stupid.
good one
EFFORT
At least you tried.
Tech Crunch coverage. lol.
Pardon me, but why is Hilton is Paris “selective”? Can’t you just make a reservation? After all it’s not Ritz, and it might be even illegal to deny service.
Sorry, meant Hilton in Paris, AJAX forms are so sluggish – always typos.
Which VC would want to hear a plan that is not 700% off. If you pitch something real.. you will hear that a VC does not invest in something which does not have the scale..
Super funny!