It’s mildly funny and very obviously a hoax, but this article on humour site BBspot didn’t stop many a Twitter user from thinking it is real.
The author of the post mocks Twitter’s lack of an apparent business model after 3 years in operation, and writes that the startup’s CEO Evan Williams today finally announced plans to introduce a paid premium account scheme. Never mind that the news would have gotten broken on an obscure blog when the U.S. is mostly asleep, but other things should have given away that this concerns a hoax.
For instance, the words.
Premium accounts will come in four tiers: Sparrow, Dove, Owl and Eagle.
The details of the accounts are as follows:
- Sparrow ($5/month) – Users get 145 character limit, 5 extra random followers.
- Dove ($15/month) – Users get 160 character limit, 25 extra random followers, 1 random celebrity follower, auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” T-shirt.
- Owl ($50/month) – Users get 250 character limit, 100 extra random followers, 2 random celebrity followers, 30 minutes on recommended list, auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” hoodie.
- Eagle ($250/month) – Users get 500 character limit, 1000 extra random followers, 3 celebrity followers of their choice, 5 hours on recommended list each month, Twitter Concierge for Tweeting while user is asleep or busy (and more), auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” tuxedo, custom “Fail Whale” page when service is down.
As I said, only mildly funny but so blatantly tongue in cheek that I’m surprised that so many are buying it (pun intented).
That said, what would be your opinion if Twitter would turn charging users for premium accounts into a revenue stream, instead of what it seems they’re actually doing (paving the way for text advertising on-site)?
I think if the experience with any of Yahoo’s “premium” services (e.g. Mail) is any example, charging for services will just cause people to migrate over in droves to a free alternative.
Indeed, I am sure both Google and Facebook are salivating at the prospect of twitter ultimately being forced to charge users.
Maybe twitter will be an exception, but history seems to suggest otherwise.
GTFO
This isn’t link building btw – it’s spamming you dope. No one wants to go to your spammy site either.
When I designed twitter pro mock up images, I should have made it viral too.
http://www.tera...ation-channels/
Still do not believe it made it to top trends.
STFU
http://health.okguru.com
GTFO spammer
Watching the response live on Twitter search is amusing.
I dont see the problem if Twitter charged “corporates” for a premimum account with more marketing tools. Why would average users care, they would still have control over who they follow?
It’s been pretty funny/enlightening to see so many folk embracing and RTing this. I think some level of (optional) premium account is inevitable down the line but even a casual read of the article makes it quite clear it’s a wind-up.
Good times.
Fail Whale Boxer Shorts, go for it
that is funny comment
I second that
People are already paying to have their twitter account featured ala featuredusers.com and twittercounter.com has some charge scheme for people to become featured users on their website. I’m sure some people would pay if there were premium accounts available.
We keep increasing prices and people keep buying spots. Now sold out until end of April and charging $500 a week.
Yeah, people SURE have an appetite for attention…
it seems such as a good hoax but it seems to make sense, doesnt seem out of the blue
im sure most people would pay for owl and im sure most corporates would consider eagle, its cheaper than an intern….
I nearly fell for it, but it is so blatantly untrue (Twitter concierge, what the heck?!) that I have always thought it was a joke. I do agree though, we may see corporate accounts being “unfreed”. Having said that, I’d first built up a Twitter analytics tool and then sell it to corporates at a price, to help them better evaluate their Twitter marketing strategy…
…though deep down I kind of feel sad that each and every Social Media venture is now been looked at in monetary perspective.
They have to be looked at in a monetary perspective. Money has to eventually be made in some way, shape, or form.
True, Matt, but that only highlights the problem: tools are first made for fun, for pure pleasure of playing around with technology, and it is only later that they’re being dragged and shaped into a “business model”. Before long, fun and pleasure are forgotten, it’s now all about the ROI both for the tool’s owners and users.
Well, even if this was true.. I would be surprised as why the 140 characters is being increase.. isn’t the essence of Microblogging & Twitter is to provide meaningful conversation within 140 characters?
I would be ready to pay a fee for using my account (like I do for my Flickr) as long as it added some features and made me feel paying it was worth it.
It could start away with 10 tweets/hour for Free Users to Unlimited Tweets for Premium Users paying $20/Year or more .. may be? Not sure if this would benifit but I am sure it could help their business model (1 Million [approx.] x $20 is huge?) and control new accounts getting into spammy business…
Umm… that’s the big tip off of it being fake. Twitter CAN’T increase the 140 character limit because they wouldn’t work anymore.
They’re limited to 140 characters because SMS is limited to 160 characters. The 20 character diff is so they can add the authors name to the begining of the tweet.
I would pay good money for a “Fail Whale” hoodie!
twitter.com/paulhale [Follow me & get followed back]
Premium accounts actually does make sense, but of course not in the way the hoax describes it. There are so many businesses and celebrities that are trying to hop on the twitter bandwagon, that it makes sense to cater to such powerusers. I’m thinking about features that make it easier for them to separate their private life and real friends from their celeb life and fans. Tools that give statistics about your followers, that let you categorize tweets, that make large follower/friends amounts easier to cope with.
We would pay for a corporate account where we can have multiple founders / employees tweeting for the company. We want the tweets to come from an individual person but roll up under a company account.
Check out cotweet. We just started using it and it does what you’re requesting
Woah.. the names looks funny..
that would be weird… but hey some people are willing to pay for followers… might be best to sell followers for them lol!
TechFilipino
hook, line and sinker..
I agree w/Nigel… “hook, line, & sinker” But *imagine* if this were actually true…hmmm
Hoax? it was humor. Nothing so craftily preposterous and jokey can be called hoax.
thw names are qute. charging for services will just cause people to migrate over a free alternative services.
I think people retweeted without actually reading the text. Common problem.
You mean it wasn’t real?
I wanted to pay for the celebs of my choice to follow me! 
I almost had coffee coming out my nose when I read that!!
Oh wow, so dissapointed to learn there is not really a fail whale TUXEDO!
I know, right? That would have become the new de-facto Silicon Valley attire of choice. I can just see that parties now:
“Oh, no. This is my new Twux, see it has my username stitched into the ass of the pants….”
They can charge what they like. I’m using identi.ca. If identi.ca ever goes Premium, I’d host my own.
I find discussion about whether this was a hoax or a joke quite amusing.
Time for a poll: http://twtpoll.com/advyyn
Part of what enabled confusion here is the fact that Twitter, in terms of a company, has a friendly, often humor-laden approach — it’s harder to distinguish parody about them. Could you envision many other companies brandishing a Fail Whale? I think not.
I fell for it, I’ll admit it. They are going to monetize the site sooner or later…. That I’m sure. Wonder if Google will snatch them up this year
@MatthewLoop
I mean, some aspects of the hoax actually seem to make business sense. We’re talkin J. K. Rowling here!!!
“Hoax”? I think the term you are looking for is “spoof” or “send-up.” A hoax actually tries to foist itself off as true.
This kind of reminds me of the occasional stories you hear about someone believing an article in the Onion, such as that J.K. Rowling is a satanist.
For twitter it will be easy to generate revenue from the Business houses once they define a clear strategy… but even for individuals the plans as defined are pretty catchy.
I am not a avid twitter user but I am sure will million of followers there will no dearth of people paying for the services.
I signed up for a Twitter Premium account. I chose the “Phoenix level” for $1M up front. I get all the features of the Eagle level AND I get to sleep with @mrskutcher
LOL random celebrity followers and ‘fail whale’ t-shirt….gotta have those!!
I especially loved the EmbellishTwit add-on..ROTFL..priceless.
I have the new super VIP “Bald Eagle” account…it’s just like the “Eagle” account, with the added bonus of having Evan Williams and Biz Stone come to your house and type your Tweets for you. It’s a little expensive, but at least it’s exclusive! ;D
I thought it was an early April Fool, actually. But I really loved the embellish option. Made me laugh. And about the Twitter concierge, aren’t there droves of people in China playing online games for other people for a fee?
Anyway, it is a good joke.
@aclearbluesky
Thanks for sharing the bbspot post. This is the best and funniest twitter post i read…
Whoever wrote this spoof probably heard Guy Kawasaki and Chris Anderson at SXSW on Tuesday. Amazing discussion about “free”, and the first question was “how would you monetize Twitter.”
I was thinking about that the other day–paying for Twitter. I wouldn’t mind shelling out a few bucks, especially if it meant getting rid of annoying ads.
And I echo what others have said: the “Twitter Concierge” should’ve been a big hint that this whole thing was a joke. But these are probably some of the same people who fall for email hoaxes from rich Nigerian princesses or ecards that come from sites like TihsIsRael.com.
Haha, i want the “Fail Whale” tuxedo…
If the choice comes down to paying a little – say $2-3 a month for twitter or having my feed filled up with sposered tweets / ads and other crap I’ll gladly put my hand in my pocket.
Why not give users the choice – free with ads of paid without, looking at the comments here a lot would choose to pay. And chucking in a “Fail Whale” T-shirt for subscribers wouldn’t hurt either!
I hate it when someone has a bRaInFaRTs, on reaility! It left me with mental constapation! The story of Darwin & Wells! The War of the world’s; it never happened! Rubber Ducky problems, in the land of, I got nothing to do! #9 Oh brainfart, your dead, on the dark side of the moon!
I bet the brain-trust at TC were the first to fall for this.
okay yes I fell for it… momentarily until I saw that Eagle account. 500 characters my goodness some blogs are shorter than that!
now I feel silly thanks
The names for these premium accounts are quite amusing. I think people were more inclined to believe this because they wanted the “extra random followers.”
Good job, BBspot.
Interesting…Hoax as trial balloon? Using humor to secretly test consumer attitudes regarding paid-for twitter? Could be. One thing, I don’t think that Twitter controls how much text can be sent in an SMS message. Who does control that? How did they come up with the arbitrary character limit anyway? Is this another MS-DOS “640KB is way more than enough system RAM” boondoggle?
Facebook has a similar premium plan… You can have the old layout back for just $5/month.
lol@ 3 celebrity twitter followers of your choice. SOLD!!!!
I think this is evidence of people who only scan articles or read only the first few lines of tweeted material.
Practice safe RT, people.
I’m curious to know why Joe Rogan blocked me on twitter. It is compliment to me, but I’d still like to know
Stay focused on your great comedy Joe, and the UFC and SPIKE stuff will bring you closer to owning banks. Talk with you later I guess.
I realized that I had made some careless mistakes in my posts on twitter and joerogan.net, and I’m trying to remedy them by expressing my mistakes. I finally realize that Joe Rogan is one very intelligent man. He does all that he can to help people realize mistakes without completely cutting them off. He’s not only an educator in a very fair way, but he will protect you as you struggle through these hiccups. I appreciate all that he has done in helping me get through these communication errors. What a great man. You all need to please learn more about Joe Rogan, the man! Add him to Twitter; Facebook, and Myspace. You won’t regret it, I promise. Thank you Joe Rogan, and I hope to see you on the top someday. Your fan and friend, Jordan Couch of Spring Valley, CA, USA.
Why do you spend so much time writing about Twitter? Twitter this, twitter that.
Is this is on the minds of your readers? Small talk shit that has no intelligence in it at all? This shit is the kind of stuff that makes people stupid.
TechCrunch has gone fucking downhill with this shit. I use to value the opinions of the writers on this site but have no longer any reason to read this articles.
Just an observation… get off the Twitter shit already.
I would offer the opportunity to embed your own Google analytics account to your twitter page, giving you access to the stats. I worked this out in this blog post: http://bit.ly/5dollarGA
Curious how you feel about it!
I like very much the writings and pictures and explanations in your adress so I look forward to see your next writings.
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Thank you!
Go back to your cross-burning, you ignorant hick.