Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
Macbook Wheel, including the Hummingbird battery which can power the computer for a full 19 minutes. So simple. So perfect. I love The Onion.
by
Michael Arrington
on
January 6, 2009
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- Actively Discussed Posts
- What If Steve Jobs Hadn't Returned To Apple In 1997?
308 comments - Why Google Wave Sucks, And Why You Will Use It Anyway
143 comments - Blogging Vs. Microblogging: Twitter's Global Growth Flattens, While WordPress' Picks Up
124 comments - Thanksgiving: a displaced Brit writes...
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83 comments
luv the prt about t Sudoku killa at th end.
“Sent from a Macbook Wheel”
How long did that take to type on the Macbook Wheel?
Longer than on a keyboard probably. Definitely simple, doesn’t sound efficient.
Sounds like something that can kill Apple. But the fanboys would eat it up.
you didnt actually take that seriously did you?
Satire.
I am only few thousand clicks away from sending this comment here!
Create or join a crunchie’s chat group at http://groups.im/
This video is oviously a fake. Apple would never realese such a thing. If it were real it would be all over the net and on their site. Dont believe everything you see.
Can’t understand the advantage of removing the keyboard while keeping the same laptop size !!
Useful product…Apple! don’t make it
Love the predictive text. Classic!
The predictive text was well funny, everyone in my department was amused ha
Hahaha…watch again and look at the guy’s email that he sent out. There are TONS of mistakes. Perfect little detail that he can’t even write whole sentences. =)
“I’ll buy just about anything if it’s shiny and made by Apple.”
Hilarious! I am 100% sure that if Apple put this out, there would be a line of “mactards” at every store.
And I’m 100% that you have no idea what The Onion is.
Obviously, you have never been in my bathroom.
I’m upset this ended at the bathroom challenge, that’s fighting talk right there
Ну дают… Я чет не въехал…
Andria said “Not just Dicking Around”…
I watched that part about 5 times!
LOL
Did you guys catch the prices?
8GB – $2599
40GB – $9960
I just ordered the 40GB.
Do you guys really think people are going to ditch keyboards? Wouldn’t this slow down typing tremendously? I wanna hear your thoughts…
Don’t feed the trolls.
Cliff
Its the onion – as in fake news. Gullibility Kills more and more people every year!!
wow.
Shows you how flawless the production value of The Onion is… everything in that piece was perfect, from the Apple employees in blue shirts walking around in the background, to the packaging for the product. Very well done. How does the onion make enough money to produce such high quality gags? Anyone know?
+1
I don’t know about the financial end but, though I love the Onion, I’ve never seen one of their videos before and I’m extremely impressed by the quality.
That’s not easy to do and they make it look so easy!
I was just thinking about this myself. I mean, they even had the font on the price tag right. The production values are insane – it doesn’t seem possible.
Wow SNL sucks by comparison.
Dave: Yep, those outrageous prices are the reason Mac will always be second in sales to the PC. That and this keyboard “replacement” thing that won’t ever happen.
Please tell me there are not really this many idiots on the net. Its “the onion” – as in fake news.
Please tell me there are not really this many idiots commenting on comments.
again, wow.
Lol, I just thought about it minutes after I left that comment. Ex-Googler, you’re right…gullibility kills numerous people everyday. HNY
LOL .. I was about to try and sell you some beach front property in Saudi Arabia. Dang!
Saudi Arabia has considerable coastline.
IMHO…this looks like the Segway…a simple scooter or a bike is better. If we had those kind of computers and someone invented the keyboard i´m sure that we will say that keyboard is revolutionary. Imagine that someone invented the bike…wow you can attain 50 km/h without fuel, what an amazing invention. “New” does not mean better, because people always had 10 fingers, and keyboard take the most about those 10 fingers…i don’t see people using hovercraft to go home…What i really do like is the multi touch desk, that will replace PC.
I seem to be repeating myself.
Maybe I need a new hobby.
The Onion = Fake News
Quit taking this as real, because it just ain’t!
Yeah, but I can’t wait for these advanced devices to become available. What day do we expect for Apple to start the line? I need to ask for time off from work.
Part of the entertainment is watching people take The Onion seriously.
you’re not very bright are you…
“Steve Jobs says people who use keyboards are standing in the way of human progress”.
45 minuets to send an email would be an improvement for this old guy!
I like the click wheel on my ipod but to replace typing, thats just ridiculous. i don’t even use the intuitive feature on my phone because it pisses me off. I love what Andrea said about the business world where people actually work and are not just dicking around. hahaha. Brian Gillman “Everything is just a few HUNDRED clicks away” lmfao! And a full 19 minutes, woohoo, NOT!
ex-Googler, I wish you wouldn’t stop people from commenting. I would have loved to see people actually discuss the virtues of the macwheel.
agreed. that could have really made for some hilarious arguments and commentary.
what I find interesting is how they managed to make it look so real
Replacing the macbook keyboard and touch pad with a large iphone style multitouch screen would be kinda cool though… an all-in-one input device.
The Predictive sentences were hard to read but I did catch one – “The Abortion went well”…. and apparently goes on to tell a story about an abortion, a doctor and an ardvark… wth? (pause gets covered with more spam and you can’t see the screen – I always hated that. I wasn’t pausing to see junk, I was pausing to see what was on the screen jackasses)
Wow, I can’t believe I’m just hearing about this. Does anyone know where it is in the Apple Store – I’ve been looking forever and I can’t seem to find it.
Thanks in advance,
Abiliv
You have to buy the Garage Band ‘09 Apple Store Jam Pack. There’s a link in the tambourine loops section that let you pre-order em while jamming. Better hurry though.
LOL
I tried that but I still couldn’t find the link.
Help! Please someone tell me where to order these.
Thanks in advance,
Abliv
holy fuck wow
people drop their brains at the door when around the internet or what?
The production quality of those guys at The Onion are amazing. They must have some serious kick ass industrial designers there.
hahaha Onion = Makes You Cry
What’s gullibility? Is ONN a new network on the same scale as CNN? I hope so, because O is a better letter than C. I hate Macs so I would never get one of those, but I can see all the Kool Aid drinkers standing in line because Jobs thinks he has made the keyboard obsolete. I can see people spending an hour or two to send an email, because Apple made a new doo-hickey.
Hey guys I have 3 mac book wheels in stock. email me. They are $4,000 each. Be ready to send cash.
Mike- pretty funny you covered this. way to go.
And if you order one, be sure to get your add-on accessories from us! We’ve got really cool fake leather/pleather jackets that can be personalized and protect your Mac Wheel from scratches. We’ve got an all new Hummingbird battery charger that will take your usage from an average 19 minutes to a whopping 22 minutes! (these are really incredible) – And don’t forget, with each purchase you also get a FREE iPhoto update! The new iPhoto can recognize faces (great for finding out the names of those porn chicks you downloaded last night)
Act now, supplies are limited! But we’ll be in full production soon! email us!!
Apple FTW!
Pretty cool!
If you Google “apple wheel”, at least one of the links, which appear completely legit (www.businessweek.com) in fact are exploits that download various Trojan hacks.
Wow..the Wheel of Fortune on MAC….lol..spin spin goes the wheel..
Does anyone know when this thing is actually going to be in stores? Sounds pretty cool although pretty expensive for what you get …
Its been out for a while already.. i bought 2.
I’ll sell you one if you want..
email me at:
youreanidiot@gmail.com
There is a deal right now. Purchase an iPhone and you get the MacBook Wheel for 50% off until January 9th. I’m on a waiting list right now.
Egghead – Its coming out early this year. in a 8 or 40 GB variant, and you can upgrade to the hi-capacity battery (40 minutes) for only $999. Thats a steal. ROFL.
Dont laugh my company has already developed the lightglove for “Air Typing and Piano”. That keyboard may be obsolete sooner than you think.
Oh yea we are at CES this week come check us out!! (I-stage finalist also) PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chrome spinners to trick out your wheel. $39.99
Physical keyboard is on its way out, will prob. be only a display of the keys on the surface of your desk and a display of the computer screen on the wall.
…that is, unless “they” chip us first.
Forget the Bluetooth, buy the Braintooth
no, no, Braintooth doesn’t sound cool. Ah, I know, the Greentooth, go green, implant it in your brain and dont use up precious resources by buying an actual physical product.
The aardvark asked for a dagger.
HA! Anyone read the SCROLLING text at the bottom? The small things crack me up. Love the Horse Riding comment. Also, the guys the line the guy says “I love how it says MacBook Wheel in your email, so people know you have a MacBook Wheel.”
Friggn brilliant humor.. kudos Onion.
It looks like this mac:
http://www.yout...h?v=noe3kR8KqJc
Depends on how user find it because working without keywords is not so easy, many people would not easily adopt such changes.
We love Apple, especially for their continuously pushing standards BUT:
Only a few hundred clicks away sounds beyond discouraging, and
The wheel seems ridiculous.
What happened to voice? It actually seems primitive, and a shows how the simple keyboard is so intuitive.
Why create a barrier between the user and the keyboard? Would love to see them proving us wrong. My next Notebook WILL NOT be a wheel. It may be a Dell if they don’t lay off the pot at Apple.
I loved how it said the screen goes black after 4 seconds to save energy.
That’s just stupid…I love Mac…but that’s just plain stupid. When I am typing (or programming a website) I don’t want to have to sit there and scroll to each letter!
Also, the Hummingbird Battery could be even more stupid. 19 minutes of battery life.
Seriously, this seems like a joke to me.
No way. You’d almost think something from the onion would be satirical…
Sorry Zachary, but this is as real as they come.
Welcome to the new generation of MAC computers!!
OMG, that was the funniest/saddest set of posts I’ve ever read in my life! Our world is doomed to the ignorant! We’re not *evolving*, we’re *devolving*. “wow” is right, Michael!
Apple is now releasing accessories for the “Wheel!” The first to debut is a USB external keyboard! LOL
Arent TechCrunch readers supposed to be tech-savvy and stuff?
Quoting russian poet from the 16′th century Mikhail Aritovski:
- Wow.
I am sorry to say, I am happy with my keyboard and mouse. They work fine and I can type this faster than on the Wheel.
And, my laptop isn’t going to die in 19 minutes.
Gullible poster is gullible.
Hahahaha! Where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around! Classic. Sums up Crapple.
Macs are for F A G S
It’s fake?
Thought it was so brilliant. Couldn’t find it on the Apple Store…
This is just a rumour, and all of this is just non-sense, if this was real then, wouldn’t it be on other websites rather than being on the Onion news? This is what you would call FUCKING BULL SHIT!!
This post made me really, really sad. I never knew TC comments attracted so many ignorant retards.