From: “John S.”
Date: September 5, 2008 11:43:36 AM PDT
To: tips@techcrunch.com
Subject: Celebrity Dating NetworkHow is it that Techcrunch will do countless stories on every idiotic widget created by countless 19 year olds who manage to get their uncles at some VC to fund it because they can back door money to each other yet you guys won’t cover something really interesting? Have you checked out CelebrityDatingNetwork.com? Its the first dating service in the world that allows you to meet and date real celebrities as well as find people who bear a facial resemblance to the love of your life.
Start acting like journalists in search of a wider audience…lol. Crossing over into mainstream media will take more than a re-design of your website. You need to stop doing 50 stories a day about Google Chrome and step into the cool tech zone. We gave you a five day head start on CelebrityDatingNetwork.com Prove to us it wasn’t a mistake and write a story about it that gets picked up by the mainstream media.
John
Posting this purely for entertainment value, and to give TechCrunch readers a taste of what our inboxes look like every morning. I’m not a fan of the service, but as soon as I want to date “actual movie stars” or “ordinary people who resemble my ex” I’ll give it a whirl.
And a note to mainstream media and non-nepotistic venture funds who want to “step into the cool tech zone”: CelebrityDatingNetwork has arrived.
“Sometimes the best way to mend a broken heart is to find someone who looks just like your ex.”
LOL just looked at it.
Loved this message
Due To The Celebrities Involved With Our Service Your IP Address ( 123.456.789.01) Is Being Logged For Security Purposes
I would love to know what celebs have signed up to this :p
Techcruch rocks. Period.
Tell them to go market their Web -9000 sites elsewhere.
Well, he made it to Techcrunch. Any news either good or bad or sarcastic means exposure=good.
Freaky stuff.
I think the saddest thing about this whole post is that a person that looks like this:
(hope that works?)
used “lol” in a ‘business’ email.
D’oh. Now I look like a fool. <a href, <img src … same thing, right?
Worst website ever! Horrible layout, idea, execution. That’s why nobody writes about this junk.
Due To The Celebrities Involved With Our Service Your IP Address ( 99.xxx.188.xxx) Is Being Logged For Security Purposes
In the bottom footer on that site.. I kid you not.
What a bunch of frigtards
hahaha get a life John. Tech Crunch are filling a gap in the media, covering interesting that the mainstream won’t dream to publish first.
One day of fame.
The terms of service page is hilarious. In addition to misspellings and grammar mistakes throughout, there are gems that include “If you share your computer with others, you may wish to consider disabling your auto-sign in feature if you have linked your Window’s Live ID to your CelebrityDatingNetwork.com account.”
Ah, yes. Window’s Live ID. The single sign-on of choice for the celebrity dating crowd.
The TOS later notes that users cannot export CelebrityDatingNetwork.com content to countries that are state sponsors of terrorism, presumably so that our enemies can’t use the “cool tech zone” in their axis of evil.
Laptop computer: $2,000
Internet connection: free at coffee shop
Email that generates 15,000 hits to your site: every last ounce of your dignity and pride
And let’s not mention that his service is patented even though at the bottom it says patent pending. Marking something as patented in order to deceive the public is a federal offense.
OK. Here’s a real news scoop. If I was a journalist, this is what I would have found:
John S. is John Surowy and Michael Stevens are partners in something called Danger Productions. This domain is owned by Danger Productions. Let’s look at their other accomplishments.
In 2003 it was Hollywood’s Calling.com. Listen to this “all that’s required is your credit-card number or electronic check in the amount of $19.95, and within seven days you can expect to hear from one bona fide, if slightly faded, celebrity wishing you Happy Halloween, get well soon, or congratulations on your retirement. The 15-second phone call works out to a little more than a dollar a second, which is, if you think about it, a small price to pay for the privilege of knowing that, for example, hunky Lorenzo Lamas is incredibly excited that you’re turning 40. … Hollywood Is Calling has the look of a Web site designed in 1996, with lots of text, poor punctuation and few graphics. Scrolling down the list of 23 celebrities is like viewing a lineup for VH1’s “Where Are They Now?” Many of the photographs are decades old. A few look more like Polaroids than professional head shots. Beneath each picture are the words PLACE YOUR ORDER.” SOUND FAMILIAR???
GangsterCourt (dot) com. In 2002, they were pitching a TV show where ex-criminals are the judges.
In 2001, they attempted to pitch a show called Danger Island” in which ex-offenders on a desert island would have had to complete tasks while evading “hunters” drawn from the ranks of police forces, intelligence agencies and the military.
Oh and let’s not forget about is “best-selling book,” “Gangsternomics.” Are you kidding me? And DVD, “Job Wars” Now interestingly, they were both given 5 stars on Amazon by “David Stevens.” I am sure he is no relation to Michael Stevens.
These two guys are persistant, I’ll give you that!!
OK last post. I’m so sorry. I can’t help it. But this schmuck listed himself on the popup list of celebrities that you are supposed to choose from as who you closely resemble!!! HAHAHA
LOLOL
I know you’re going to ban me from posting but he also ran talktoamillionaire.com in 2000 $250 for a 15 min conversation with a celebrity.
Good night.
ok ok this is funny who in there right mind would want to date a star..there fake full of drama…ohhhhhhh and the site sucks..I would’nt send my dead dog.
Moron 2.0
I agree even if his website sucks, the General journalism around Tech Crunch apart from what is deemed cool to a select few is terrible.
Prime example of this is when Michael posted a story about not being able to get a ride on the Google Jet back from Davos, was more of a personal Gripe than any kind of relevant story.
Proves that beyond the Internet Tech Crunch is nothing more than a poor sucessfull blog at best, a gravy train at best.
Needs proper Journalist that have actually been trained in journalism rather than self claimed on the back of something that is flawed in the ” real world “
There’s an opportunity for another TechCrunch site here. Perhaps it could be called TechCrunch–Just for Laughs, TechCrunch D-list, or simply TechCrunch Inbox.
I love TechCrunch because it isn’t considered “mainstream” (even though it is hugely popular). I’ve stopped paying attention to “mainstream” stories because I love reading about Google Chrome 50 times a day! Keep it up TechCrunch!
Does the membership come bundled with services from a shrink as a freebie? Gees….talking about issues!
Great post!
JC
The sneaked in plug is lame… but he is right. The “19 year old” kid company idea is dying. So many of the business models have those question marks in them followed by “profit!”. (surely even facebook when it started, and even now to some degree)
If they get lucky and get popular, they’ll think they are programming and business gurus. If they’re like the countless others and make a nice (infinitely copyable) site that no one goes to, they’ll just go back to school.
Regardless, techcrunch should start some tags like YASS (yet another shopping site) or YAIS (yet another invite site)….
I’m sorry, I never usually comment, but I just had to say something about this!! I actually visited the website and it seems like a load of crap! I can’t believe he had the guts to send such a mail… oh well, it made my day
Why did you have to ruin it for me? Last month, I dated Reese Witherspoon, Alicia Silverstone, the chick who plays Ugly Betty, Jennifer Aniston, and Jennifer Gardner. Now that you publicized the site, I’ve got too much competition. The only response I received recently was from Mindy Cohn (Natalie on The Facts of Life). Thanks again Arrington for ruining my life!
I just signed up and so far I have had 0 hits from women who want to date a Rodney Dangerfield look-a-like…
OK, that celebrity site is utter crap, but he does have a point.
TC is increasingly irrelevant to both the mainstream and the tech media.
Yeah, cause I totally think dating when I come to TechCrunch… I have to say I myself don’t totally get the complaints. I really only follow TechCrunch, not the rest of the blogs, and I still have a hard time keeping up, you all write so many posts. And they’re pretty varied, even if some topics do get a lot of different articles. So…why is that bad? And frankly, I have no idea why you shouldn’t be allowed to promote your own event either.
Cool news, thanks for share.