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September 21, 2007

Google Sued For Crimes Against Humanity

Duncan Riley

71 comments »

google3.jpgIf you think you’ve seen bizarre lawsuits before, check this one out. Pennsylvania resident Dylan Stephen Jayne is suing Google for crimes against humanity and is asking the court for $5 billion in damages. The charge: his social security number, when turned upside down and scrambled spells Google.

A copy of the complaint is below. And even though it is handwritten, it’s a real lawsuit. The original can be found at Justia here.


Dylan lodged eight filings with the court, including an accusation that the Philadelphia 76ers play a key role in the code to unscramble his social security number to spell Google.

I don’t think Google will have a lot to worry about with this case, but it does make you wonder why mental health services aren’t more readily available in the United States.

(via El Reg)

  • Sphere It

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Comments

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  1. Velioncho

    September 21st, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    friday entertainment.

  2. John Mills

    September 21st, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    haha

  3. John

    September 21st, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    That made my day.

  4. Sean

    September 21st, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    Well at least his paperwork screams ‘legitimacy’…

  5. Fabian Schonholz

    September 21st, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    This is just plain funny!!

  6. anon

    September 21st, 2007 at 2:17 pm

    Google is screwed. Sell shares now.

  7. Greg

    September 21st, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    Its too bad cries for attention like this work.

  8. me

    September 21st, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    Freak.

  9. Andrew

    September 21st, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    Google will probably settle for a million or two

  10. Monti

    September 21st, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    So anyone figure out what his SS# is?

  11. benlm

    September 21st, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    Who cares what his SS# is! That’s one identity not worth stealing.

  12. RBA

    September 21st, 2007 at 3:47 pm

    My SS#, when turned upside down AND SCRAMBLED, can spell whateher shit I want it to spell.

    I’m with comment#7 BTW.

  13. Mike W

    September 21st, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    A friend of mine lives 50 minutes away, next time I visit her, maybe I should stop by and say hi (his address is in the document). That’d be worth it.

  14. Greg

    September 21st, 2007 at 4:22 pm

    This person obviously has a mental illness, where is the sympathy for his obvious condition?

  15. Steve Ballmer

    September 21st, 2007 at 5:05 pm

    Guilty! Guilty! GUILTY!!!!!
    Gaggle is the source of evil world wide!
    If you wish to renounce the devil (Google spelled backwards) go MSN!
    http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com

  16. jackmayhofferr

    September 21st, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    Haha this is funny. Duncan you should write for ValleyWag. You got this gift for gossip reporting. Oh yeah TC IS a gossip site ;) GOOD WORK

  17. Rin

    September 21st, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    Some people make me ashamed to be an American…

  18. sm

    September 21st, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    It means, anyone who has these 5 0 0 5 7 3 numbers in any of their documents are eligible. huh.

  19. Jimmy

    September 21st, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    Just noticed this will be in Scranton. Dwight’s work perhaps?

  20. Josh Fraser

    September 21st, 2007 at 11:51 pm

    Since when are social security numbers made up of 6 characters??

  21. Freiddie

    September 22nd, 2007 at 2:48 am

    Surprising thing, but the handwriting was atrocious (on purpose?). I think this is just a desperate cry for action after years of boredom.

  22. Clement

    September 22nd, 2007 at 6:07 am

    I quote the final part of your post

    “I don’t think Google will have a lot to worry about with this case, but it does make you wonder why mental health services aren’t more readily available in the United States.”

    My comment: You also risk being sued by the plaintiff (I have deliberately avoided her name for fear of being sued) because of this statement :)

  23. Stanley Miller

    September 22nd, 2007 at 6:42 am

    someone should send dylan a copy of nassim taleb’s “fooled by randomness.”

  24. phenom

    September 22nd, 2007 at 11:06 am

    lol
    http://vidsonly.blogspot.com

  25. Mo Kakwan

    September 22nd, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    Poor guy. His handwriting looks that of a tortured soul.

  26. jocelyn

    September 23rd, 2007 at 9:33 am

    haha, hilarious.

    I wonder if he realizes that google is a number and not just a company name o.O

  27. Fake "Fake Michael Arrington"

    September 23rd, 2007 at 9:51 am

    @#18 “SM”:

    You say 500573. I was thinking 379009, which looks MUCH more like Google up-side-down. (yours is Soosle?)

    Damn, I miss this cash give-away by ONE digit!

  28. Jason

    September 23rd, 2007 at 10:28 am

    Did anyone read to the end? Under assets, it says a $200 Burton snowboard and an overdrafted Wachovia Bank account. Amazing…

    I don’t think TC went too Valley Wag with this one. I like that there is news other than “Fufumucho.com raised $6mm to build social network, video sharing, facebook app, virtual world…”

  29. Unneeded

    September 23rd, 2007 at 10:39 pm

    Someone should offer to send this person to Harvard Law School! They might turn out better than most other attorneys.

  30. bendodge

    September 23rd, 2007 at 11:35 pm

    It’s entertaining, but it’s also obvious that this person needs help. It might be a prank, but it’s hard to say.

  31. willy

    September 24th, 2007 at 12:37 am

    they should counter sue for copy right infringment

  32. Noodleneck

    September 24th, 2007 at 1:56 am

    “but it does make you wonder why mental health services aren’t more readily available in the United States”

    We have asked ourself this question before. But maybe it has turned out to be just too expensive, since he is definitely not the only american who could benefit from it.

  33. Daniel Morin

    September 24th, 2007 at 2:37 am

    Legal plunder!

  34. carbuzzard

    September 24th, 2007 at 2:58 am

    I think the guy may have a case, though perhaps not the one he’s thinking of. Google can make you crazy…

  35. gibbrish

    September 24th, 2007 at 3:32 am

    my Dic* when twisted and turned and sucked on looks like Apple, should I sue too? LOL

  36. Silver jewelry wholesale

    September 24th, 2007 at 3:58 am

    google is always a target of those who want to claim for huge amount of compensation

  37. Bill Gates

    September 24th, 2007 at 4:21 am

    Obviously, knowing that Google has severly violated any privacy law it could find, a lawsuit regarding crimes against humanity is not a bad idea, however, this time I guess they are off the hook, this dude needs to have his mental health evaluated, not his social security number :P

  38. anon

    September 24th, 2007 at 4:57 am

    lol I hope someone kills him

  39. Fishface

    September 24th, 2007 at 4:58 am

    This guy isn’t crazy, he’s just filing a frivolous lawsuit to “get back” at the system that incarcerated him, and possibly get attention for his perceived injustices. Prisoners do this crap all the time.

  40. Michael W

    September 24th, 2007 at 5:23 am

    Doubtfull #39,
    I’ve seen the lawsuits that prisioners file, and frankly they do a better job than many attorney’s when doing the paperwork (I do agree that they file frivlous lawsuits — mostly it agaisnt the state itself so that they can clog up the court system, or harrass a guard). What I find interesting is that while the handwriting is horriable, the legal forms have been followed quite well, whoever this person is, they are intelligent and bright, but obviously there is something not right.

  41. Zhat

    September 24th, 2007 at 5:51 am

    My SSN when recorded and played backwards says something about Paul being dead….

  42. Dennis

    September 24th, 2007 at 5:57 am

    They’re coming to take him away - ha, ha (backwards)…

  43. Dragos

    September 24th, 2007 at 7:02 am

    Andrew! You are an idiot man ! Thx for ‘listening’….

  44. mike

    September 24th, 2007 at 7:19 am

    He’s lucky google didn’t sew him for having their name up side down and scrambled >

  45. Mike R

    September 24th, 2007 at 7:37 am

    I’d like to see “loser pays all court costs and legal fees for the winner” of a lawsuit. Seriously.

  46. Peter

    September 24th, 2007 at 7:58 am

    So what does this mean for 7/11 and other companies with numbers in their names?

  47. Deceased

    September 24th, 2007 at 8:09 am

    http://www.regulations.gov/fdm.....ype=crtext

    Im sure there will be copy-cats to follow…

    DieBold!

  48. Marina

    September 24th, 2007 at 8:34 am

    Your comment is more preposterous than this ridiculous lawsuit. Why use this venue to degrade the United States? You are just as off base with your comments as the obviously ill person filing the lawsuit. Can you name one country outside of the United States where mental health services are more readily available?

  49. richyinsea

    September 24th, 2007 at 9:01 am

    Does that mean if my SSN contains 7734 (is “hell” upsidedown and backward as probably everyone knows by now) I can sue Satan? Not a good idea, too many lawyers. :)

  50. rhino

    September 24th, 2007 at 9:06 am

    This just goes to prove Darwin was wrong.

  51. Canduterio

    September 24th, 2007 at 9:16 am

    After the third whiskey bottle I can make my security number to be spelled Microsoft…

  52. WasteOfTime

    September 24th, 2007 at 9:29 am

    Wow… I can’t believe our court system actually allows this frivalous kind of filing…

  53. edencraze

    September 24th, 2007 at 9:30 am

    Fucking bastard has no job i believe and so finds this way to make some money… Ha Ha Ha !!!! He publicizes his own privacy by giving out his social security number indirectly… I don’t think GOOGLE needs to worry about this !!!

  54. Alejo

    September 24th, 2007 at 9:32 am

    So, if I add all the numbers that composes the GOOGLE in a telephone, we end up with 28. The addition of all numbers that composes my national document (we don´t have an SS#) is 27 so is 28-1. Google is making me feeling down because has a greater number than me. Í´ll be suing them very soon!!!

  55. Brian D

    September 24th, 2007 at 11:12 am

    Obviously he plans to set up the
    google lawsuit blog, make some cash using
    google ads, and maybe request the
    suit be granted class action status…

  56. migz

    September 24th, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    what an idiot!!! that guy dont even have a lawyer…
    …and an ssn is 9 numbers google is 7 letters
    can i smack this idoit plaintiff with my keyboard?

  57. Steve Ballmer

    September 24th, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    More evidence of the Gaggle Conspiracy:

    1. Google spelled in the original greek where numbers and letters were the same characters adds up to “666″.

    2. Google employees all have Halloween off, so they can go worship!

    3. Google’s board of directors has 13 members, who head 13 divisions, each with 13 managers, who each have 13 children all of whom are named after Astrological signs.

    4. Google works with Proctor and Gamble!

    5. Every Newyears after the first full moon the google Board runs out into the courtyad and howls!

    …. etc

    http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com

  58. Jason

    September 24th, 2007 at 3:39 pm

    This is CRAZY! I’m not gonna waste my time trying to read all that chicken scratch!!!!! This guy just wants to be famous or something…and I have a feeling it’s the “or something” part.

  59. Dr. Jack

    September 24th, 2007 at 3:54 pm

    I reckon its time to think about a new law system in the US where
    1. people cannot file ridiculous law suits
    2. unethic lawyers cannot win ridiculous lawsuits because the have enough money and can play with the system at will.

    The hole world is laughing at whats happening in US courts and crying at the same time……

  60. bill

    September 24th, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    In addition to the snowboard and overdrawn checking, add:

    1. Very large bong
    2. Nearly depleted 2oz bag…

    It looks to me like he wrote the complaint stoned, and was either REALLY paranoid at the time…. or thought it would be funny.

  61. VValker.

    September 24th, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    I’m stupid, I kept reading all the papers he sent in.

    From exhibit D, it’s obvious that he takes the 76ers + Google and gets:

    7 E O G O E G 6 L. (Yes, he used E twice.)

    Rotated 180 and squinting, that looks like 799 30 9031, I think.

  62. kid320

    September 24th, 2007 at 9:12 pm

    Is this the same guy who complained about the rogue helicopter pilot:
    “You are in that helicopter and you are nothing but a chameleon, lemon-headed, coward, terrorist p***y!”

    I shouldn’t joke because I am concerned about this lawsuit. The 76ers are involved and it may effect their gameplay. Apparently, they are too. Today, the resigned Allen Iverson. He had this to say at his press conference:

    “I supposed to be a franchise player and we sittin’ here talking about Google. I mean, we talkin’ about Google. Not Yahoo, not Yahoo, not Yahoo… we talkin’ about Google. Not Yahoo, not a, not a, not Yahoo. Not a Yahoo, we talkin’ about Google, man. I mean, how silly is that? And we talkin’ about Google. We talkin’ about Google man. What are we talkin’ about? Google. We talkin’ about Google man. We talkin’ about Google. We talkin’ about Google. We ain’t talking about Yahoo. We talkin’ about Google, man. But we talkin’ about Google right now.”

    *ahem* WAIT! A Social Security Number is 9 digits long… Google is 6 characters. I guess if you turn the 6 upside down, you end up with 9 digits? Amazing!

    Dylan Jayne in ‘08!

    *Legal Notes (Just incase this guy sues me): This comment does not, in any way, express my views of anything past, present or future, existent or non-existent, dull or shiny. I know for this to be legally binding it has to be poorly handwritten on plain white paper, but I hope typing it will suffice.*

  63. newtsoo

    September 25th, 2007 at 7:03 am

    this guy should be remindered of where to go and play whatever he wants to play. I want to believe that US courts are too smart for being a practice field.

  64. Geo smashinpumkin90@yahoo.com

    September 25th, 2007 at 8:48 am

    Has anyone read this in depth? “The plaintiff and defendent(s) have a respoinsibility to fight the war on terrorism”. He goes on to say that he was abused by the local law enforcement, in which case it happened to be true, how does this tie into google? Then i found several spelling errors (”suspition”). Paintiff and defendents could be subjected to detainment by the US for assisting in terrorism/affiliating with terrorist organizations, sealing records from the public, and deny all avenue of appeals for defendent(s)? As a criminal justice student, it seems to me that he’s very bored and wants to further clog the civil court system in our country, or hes off his rocker.

    Word.

  65. Jackie

    September 25th, 2007 at 12:33 pm

    Is his SS# 166-30-6007?

    Ass, I wouldnt have known or cared about his SS#, and now with him starting this retarded suit, I’m sitting here trying to figure his SS# out.

  66. ya mamma

    September 28th, 2007 at 11:17 am

    dylan stephen jayne
    139 millridge drive
    milford,pa 18337
    I think all complaints or advice should be forwarded to above

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