When you confirm a friend on facebook, you are asked to state how you know the person. But the options are simply too narrow. “We hooked up” is rarely an appropriate way to describe someone you know through blogging, networking, etc. In fact, most of the options are not really useful for the millions of non-college student adults flooding into the service. It’s time to add more options.
There are fourteen options to choose from (see image above), but I’ve never found a single one that describes any of my friendships appropriately. Dave Winer suggests a number of new choices, including “delighted by” and “fantasizes about”.
I think there should be a box where free text can be added. And choices should include adult-friendly options like “met at conference” or “investor.”
What do you think? What options would you choose?
I think you’re too old for facebook, that’s what I think.
I faced the same problem in the last few days, as a number of my friends in the Valley sent invitations – a renewed interest spurred by the buzz around The Platform, I guess.
You are right – none of the options really captured the professional relationships.
Know professionally – is probably the best broad option, I thought.
I might be lame, but I just skip that step. But I agree that perhaps I skip it because none of the options appeal to me.
Nick – you might be right…but facebook clearly wants to attract a demographic of people who are older than 21. So what’s the right thing for their business?
You should be able to define your own and/or select from a list of those already defined by others, sort-able alphabetically, by popularity, etc.
I stared at it for minutes the other day trying to figure out how to classify the person who sent request. I was so busy looking at the list and clicking that I didn’t realize it was optional.
I was sent requests from other bloggers that are not in my family, that I never dated, that I never lived with, ……
Clearly something wrong there.
I think “grouping” should be a big part of social networks. Let me define friends, family, co-workers, etc..
>I think there should be a box where free text can be added.
ah, user-defined content/categorizing? What a concept!
MIKAL HAZ HAWTS FOR TEH TAGS
Met randomly pops up a box and seems to be widely used for ‘blogosphere/blogging buddies’ and more.
KISS, less is more, but I agree, some could be given a more appropriate, non studied together twist.
There’s the ‘met randomly’ option which allows you to put in whatever you want basically. This is the closest thing to a ‘free text’ option that they offer.
that’s what the “met randomly” is for
There may be an application for it, you never know.
This is a useless post Michael. Can’t believe you are blogging about a trivial function of a website. Who cares…How about FB’s “Relationship status”? Which option do you choose? Does that worth another TC review?
The first social network to captures more information about relationships is http://NeighborRing.org – they’ve been doing this for several years and are the first to have provided labels for relationships. Links between people are labelled by real-life names such as ‘friend’, ‘family’, ‘acquaintance’, ‘colleague’, or ‘online’.
The chain of referrals is also tracked so you can see who invited who.
The link quality is aggregated to form a ‘trust points’ score, also known as a Reputation Currency. These points can then factor in transactions as payment or deposit.
This all becomes very important when you want to apply social network technology to map the ‘chain of trust’ in order to facilitate some kind of transaction. NeighborRing facilitates sharing, creating localized market for sharing… of items, knowledge, or skills between group members. If you want to lend a ladder to someone, it becomes more important just how the borrower knows someone who you know. If the only connection is that they’ve “met” online, think twice.
Anyway I agree that this is all important stuff for social networks to find increasing application in the real, adult world.
I’m with Allen. I almost always skip this step. Nearly all of the contacts on my Facebook page that have this info filled out were filled out by people requesting to be my friend, not the other way around.
I already know how I know the people on my list, and I don’t really care if anyone else does… so I’m not really sure how the info really helps anyway.
@mfn (#15):
Odd – that site doesn’t even have an Alexa ranking, and after several years?!
@Josh Catone (#16):
That is indeed useful information, but I’m afraid Facebook isn’t presenting it right. Relationship types could be used for message and one-to-many messaging and to generate a better degree of trust.
A friend of a friend might not be as trusted as a friend’s family member. Or there might be a time when you need to contact only a certain group of friends – in this case, that information is very useful.
However, I doubt if Facebook is using it that way…
I got a request to confirm a detail that said “we met back in ‘87 and it was on the moon”.
How about Facebook saves my login?
How do I know you never took off with me. But most of my friends are pretty deliberate with it so it sure works.
Facebook just needs a i’m-a-”blogger” mode:)
Yeah, I agree that the choosing how I know you could use more options, but I suppose the met randomly can work.
More importantly, and speaking of rankings, how is it that in Alexa, TC ranks 651 but in Compete 12,115? Is Compete worthless? My site ranks very good on Alexa amongst other sites in my genre, but is not tracked by Compete.
I think Alexa v. Compete is a more intriguing topic. I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone in a non-tech role would visit any of my site competitors with the Compete Toolbar. Unless it is included as spyware.
I always thought “We hooked up” meant.. “we made out/had casual sex” or similar. I used it on one or two old friends as a joke for this reason. I guess there is a lot of room for misunderstanding with these terms after all *g*
@mfn (15)
Way to blatantly steal Ubuntu’s logo on your about page.
Re 17: Robert, NR is completely cloaked from search engines- the site gets rebranded and included as part of different groups’ (usually nonprofits) websites. For example you’d see a link to the “YMCA resource net” and once you join you see it’s ‘powered by neighbor ring’. That’s how I got involved with it – supporting a local activist group that sells NR memberships as a fundraising tool. You’d be amazed how many extra DVDs people have kicking around that they’re willing to lend to friends – or – likely friends. You end up meeting people for practical reasons, locally.
Keep. It. Simple. Stupid.
I hope the Facebook crew are reading this post. I agree whole heartedly with it. The options are too limiting. All the people I know on the site I have met through blogging and other forums.
1. I think we may have hooked up but I was a bit too drunk to remember.
2. We were cellmates.
3. We both lost money investing in Webvan.
4. I would like to hook up with this person.
5. We both are on the No Fly list.
6. We met in an AOL chat room back in 1997.
7. I think this person is a family member (DNA tests are pending).
8. We were both molested by the same priest.
9. We met at a violent protest against the World Bank.
10. I had an affair with this person.
11. We’re Walmart shoppers.
12. We attended the same rehab facility.
13. This person gave me their business card at a TechCrunch party.
14. We know each other from a past life.
15. I gave this person an STD.
16. I sold my 1985 Chevette to this person on eBay.
I think “Childhood friend” would be a good option – I have lots of friends who I grew up with from my local area. We didn’t go to school together but our families were friends – there is no way to state this at the moment. Also “Met through a Group” with an option to select the Groups page on Facebook.
Surely the real problem is that we all think about and express the nature of our relationships in different ways, and computer systems aren’t yet very good at inferring similarities between these different descriptions. Which is why they straightjacket us into using a few, standardised descriptions which can never please all of the people all of the time.
Skip this step.
re Samoa (24)…
whoa, interesting! They are quite similar!
https://lists.u...ubuntu_5.11.jpg
However the NR logo has been there for at least 2 maybe 3 years,
so it might be the other way around.
Anyway, the relevance was to illustrate an application where labelling of relationship links is important and adds value.
I’d love to get more feedback on NeighborRing actually but not hijack this thread… I will put a post in the TC Forums about it. soon..
1. We met at a retirement community
2. We exchanged body fluids
3. I do not know this person, but please ask them to stop impersonating me
4. We’re more than kissing cousins — so much more…
5. If only someone could hear the VOICES IN MY HEAD!!!
6. We exchanged thumb drives — in certain body cavities.
7. We both maintain a secret Hotmail account where we store files stolen from former employers
8. I searched them in LinkedIn using the keyword “promiscuous”
9. We put both of our DNA in a Creative Commons license
10. I stalk this person from afar
re weaverluke (30)
Good point. Computers aren’t so good at inferring from language descriptions.
There is another approach some social networks have taken to this, which is to infer the strength of relationships by monitoring user behavior. For example, two users who exchange lots of email (or forum comments, or buy/sell/share transactions) might be inferred to have a stronger connection, etc. I think there are several other systems which infer social capital from user actions but the names aren’t leaping to mind at the moment.
Agree with Mike’s suggestion to allow for more ‘adult friendly’ options. If Facebook implemented the suggestion I would give up LinkedIn and use Facebook as my only social/business networking service.
FWIW- among the college crowd, this feature (which goes hand-in-hand with the “social timeline”) is nearly always skipped.
I have another request. I want people to find me via my maiden name and my married name. Right now, it appears that I use my maiden name as my middle name on Facebook, when in fact I am only using it to enable old school friends to find me easily.
The reality of the situation is that based on what you are asking.. there shouldn’t be any options, but a box to put whatever you want.
The current options are to save time among the college students who first started using it, as it contains the most commonly needed items. Most of the options open doors for more detail…
The rule of thumb: If you can’t find what you want on the list, click met randomly, and then type in your description.
The suggestion above about the computer inferring strength of relationship based on communication is a great idea. I would love to see an example of this.
Robert (#18) – learn how to use facebook’s group features.
I don’t think many people other then you would need an investor option Mike.
How about enhancing the “Family” option to include in-laws? I have my Brother-in-law and my sister-in-law on facebook. Best I can mark them as is brother and sister.
If you pick Met Randomly, you can describe “met at a conference” or any of the other stuff you’re complaining about.
I use my maiden and married name on facebook so people can find me too. It’s really not a big deal. Some of you are REALLY picky.