Apple iLaunch (humor)
Michael Arrington
20 comments »
In a jab at Apple CEO Steve Jobs’ ability to capture the world’s attention every time he announces a new product, the Onion reports the introduction of the new Apple iLaunch in an article titled “Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product.”
The iLaunch is a product that will “revolutionize the process of unveiling new products throughout the world.”
This is, of course, a joke. The Onion has a history of taking shots at hot companies just when the hype is going overboard. See, for example, their previous article on Google Purge, a non-existent product that will “destroy all copyrighted materials that cannot be searched by Google” and which noted Google’s “buildup of a vast army of laser-equipped robots.”
The Onion says of iLaunch:
Described in its patent filing as a “hype-generating mechanism with fully integrated Mac compatibility,” the iLaunch is powered by Intel dual-core processors optimized to calculate a product’s gravitas. Apple claims the iLaunch can garner the same amount of press attention as a major scientific discovery, high court ruling, celebrity meltdown, or natural disaster at 200 times the speed of a traditional media-fostered launch.
Just go read the article…I love the last paragraph about the Microsoft clone, called Launch-O.
When The Onion is good. It’s damn good.
Ok who the hell cares.
On the other hand, Steve Jobs’ next launch could the iOnion, a hypergenerating blue-tooth enabled butt phone with full cheeshead integration and crossplatform widgets especially designed for users in Madison, Wisconsin.
Very Funny.. but think about it, Steve may be on to something.. !!
He should start his own shopping channel iShopping, or even his open his own department store.. iStore, launching everything and anything.. doesn’t matter if its not a full product, or it still has bugs, its the launch that matters, not the product!!
iStore : Its the launch that matters, not the product!
Andrew
http://www.specsfinder.co.uk
Even better than the “Useless Account” website…
And don’t forget iJobs - computer aided design on the fly.
Thanks for explaining that this is a joke. I had already put an order it at the Apple Store.
Cool Stuff,
But all this is not fiction now, there are AI solutions which can solve new problems some day we may have the above mentioned product.
http://www.tekno-world.blogspot.com
Mate stop letting this site go down hill with joke posts. - Useless Account was OK, but it’s enough now.
Apple Itune is vista compatible….do check http://technospot.net/blogs/in.....ompatible/
LOL…gotta love the humor there!
Micah
http://foodforethought.wordpress.com
I hate steve Jobs. This is perfect
Scott sucks Bill Gates’ cock!!!!
Forget about Bill Gates and Steve Jobs for a second, they just killed off Captain America?! WTF. http://wizarduniverse.stores.yahoo.net/cap25.html
I understand the need for explaining obvious facets of a topic in the name of reaching a wider audience, but honestly, which of your readers wouldn’t know the Onion’s M.O. or couldn’t figure it out instantly?
This post wins patronizer of the day.
Lighten up you guys, sheesh. Nobody made you read the post.
True enough.
Heard a rumor that a bunch of Apple employees including Jobs himself were secretly testing a new product internally known as iAnus an internet connected smart-portal of some kind
lol.
Ok who the hell cares.
About what? The fact that your a jerk? I don’t care!