and now i feel free.

almost.

Despite the numerous times he’s claimed to have loved me, I think he’s lying. Again.
I haven’t seen this father in over a year, as he lives with his whore & children [I apologise for my language, but I feel this is the only way to describe her.] This whore has been married 4 times, and was unfaithful to all husbands.

I can’t wait until she goes off with someone else.

I realise that there are so many horrible things going on out there, but my head just can’t handle this!!!
There isn’t a night when I can get to sleep before 3 AM [I have to get up at 6.30] And I feel that my lack of contact with him is severely damaging my social abilities. ARGH! It’s ridiculus how someone can have this affect on you!

But I think the thing is, He was never really like a Father to me anyway, I was just led to believe that he loved us- He would complain that we left him out of events/occassions, and this is why he’d turned to sport, etc… . Absolute RUBBISH. [I feel a better word could have been used there, but I feel it better to refrain from swearing] He always excluded himself – His dedication to work, various golf tornaments, the gym and now I’ve found out, to his whore [Again, I apologise.] But yeah, he’d use ANY excuse to get out f taking part in the family festivites.

He’s been unfaithful ever since I was three – That’s almost 13 years of my Mother being depressed. I love my Mum, & I will NEVER forgive my ‘loving-father’ of what he did to her – He broke her heart & she wanted to tear it out and throw it away. She’s loved him from when they were 16, and about 30 years down the line, she still loves him.
My Brother and Sister are also heart-broken & I know this all must sound really Melo-dramatic, but I feel that this has changed me as a person. I am now violent, I’ve become very paranoid, I feel as if I’m blocking all my friends out. It would be my worst nightmare for them to see me cry :S which is super annoying, as I’m always on the verge of tears & I feel weak because of this. I feel so bad, as my Brother is always on the end of my bad moods …and he’s only 9. He has no father figure [That's any good] and I’m amazed at how strong he is. I wihs I was able to be as strong as him.

I’m going to be taking my GCSEs this year – I’m afraid I’ll fail due to my lack of focus to the topic. But I know I can show my father that I CAN cope without him and I will become a forensic scientist.

anyway, I’m pretty sure that you’ve all stopped reading my rant by now, It just feels really good to get this all off my chest. Thankyou so much for this space, I really appriciate it.

I know this may seem like quite a minor thing – unfaithful & divorce- but I don’t want to do anything else but I don’t want to anything else but SCREAM!

Thankyou for your time & I hope that whatever might go wrong in your life, can be sorted out I know that we can be strong when we need to be.

Thing is, I miss my Dad. – Not my Father, the unfaithful, cold-hearted heart-breaker, but the man that would walk me down the aisle, the man who would play with me and lecture me about boys. He would embarrass me, but I’d still love him.

I still love him & That’s why i hurts so darn much.

How are they annoyingly depressed? Did you ever consider the fact that these people might not have anyone to talk to? Most “annoyingly depressed people”, meaning if they seem pseudo depressed to get some type of sympathy or emotion (if that’s what you’re saying), will complain to a person who will respond with pity, not Frank through anonymity and knowing that he won’t reply. These people do exist, but it’s just completely ludicrous if you think every secret is from a person like that.
It makes me extremely shocked that you think these people aren’t honest about their emotions. They are feeling what they are feeling. We’re human, and none of us are going to be completely fine during the course of our life, or even slightly mediocre. You obviously don’t know what real hurt is yet.
Also, your statement suggesting the low intelligence of people who send the postcards into post secret is ridiculously immature. Go read your almanacs and keep on fueling that high opinion of yourself, I bet the people around you love it

but i’m so glad you and i worked things out. quarter life crisis averted.

i love you so much.

im scared that i have destroyed our dreams.
we were goin to be together..
i was going to move in.
it was going to be. you and me. me and you.
it hurts me to think that i have destroyed the one thing i was looking forward to in life.
one simple mistake can change it all .
jesse i love u so much and i would do anything for u.

at first i was to scared to accept ur love coz i was to scared to fall in love.
i didnt want to believe how much i loved u.
now i have fucked up and ur feelings have changed.

i dont know whether leaving is goin to help but im going any way.
3 months isnt that long.
we have done longer.
and we arnt even together.

its amazing how our love has lasted in the past.
i hope this time it come back.
because i love u and i miss u so much.
jesse im sorry.